Chick #1: Hey, guess what I found out?
Chick #2: What?
Chick #1: Bugs Bunny is from Brooklyn!
Chick #2: That’s bullshit. Last time I checked, Bugs Bunny lived in a hole, not a brownstone.
Chick #1: Ha, ha! I love you. I swear, you’re so witty sometimes. I’m not even kidding.
Chick #2: I know, right? I don’t know where I come up with this stuff.
–Rockefeller Plaza
Female Hipster, singing: Boom boom boom, let’s go back to my room…
Male Hipster: I remember when that song came out–that was the dirtiest song imaginable!
— Lolita
Man: We’ll be the opposite of the Cosby family.
Woman: Yeah — white!
–LIRR
Overheard by: Lauren
Girl on cell: We got Chinese cable because it was cheaper than the cheap cable…Yeah, it’s all in Chinese…Whatever. As long as I watch things that I’ve already seen, I don’t need to actually know what they’re saying.
–N train, Astoria
Queer, on cell: Have you seen Victoria’s boyfriend lately? He looks great. She’s better than Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.
–Eckerd, Astoria
Mother, to kids: Sorry we just missed the fireworks, guys. It’s okay, though. I TiVoed it at home just in case.
–79th St entrance, FDR
Tourist, after eagerly struggling for camera air-time: You know what, Ma, I don’t think we’re gonna be able to watch this — it only airs today.
–Taping of the Today Show, Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Stephen and Allison
Girl: Well, today they had a woman who was born a man who married a man who was born a woman, so don’t shit on Maury Povich!
–New York Public Library
Overheard by: Actually READING at the Library
Guy: Sweet Sixteen? That show makes me understand terrorism.
–114th & Broadway
Guy: So in your fantasy life you’re a scholar? That’s ridiculous!
–Williamsburg party
Store guy: I love maps! I could look at maps all day. Maps, and Playboy.
–Barnes & Noble, W. 82nd Street
Overheard by: Brooklyn Julie
Guy on cell: Dude, we should bring lightsabers!…I brought my lightsaber for the last two…
–27th & 3rd
Chick: I could get 100 phone numbers in one night if I went to a sci-fi convention!
–Serendipity, E. 60th Street
Overheard by: Djlindee
Guy #1 to guy #2: Those sunglasses look really good on you. They go nicely with your complexion.
Guy #3: That was an amazingly Fab Five moment.
–Bronx Science
Barista #1: Dude, that would be awesome.
Barista #2: That’s crap. That would look stupid, and I will give you 50 bucks if you find me one!
Barista #1: Deal.
Customer: What are you guys talking about?
Barista #2: Human cheetah man.
–Tea Lounge, Union St
Hipster #1: I think he just wanted to go out in the street and have a hipster fight about it.
Hipster #2: What is that? They see who can eat the least amount of food?
Hipster #3: No, they see who can squeeze into the tiniest pants.
Hipster #1: That’s funny, but I don’t see how that solves anything.
Hipster #3: Whatever — fucking hipsters.
–Crash Mansion on Bowery
Eight-year-old son: Dad, I can’t even tell the Ninja Turtles apart! They all look the same, they just have different bandages and stuff.
Dad: Well, do you know their names?
Son: Uhhh… There’s the blue one… Armadillo?
–Washington Heights
Overheard by: hero in a half shell
Drunk queer: I’m not a fucking asshole! Just because I said I didn’t like Shania Twain, I’m an asshole?!
–11th & 3rd
