Queer: Hey! Nice tits!
Morbidly obese fag hag: Hey, thanks!
–Metropolitan & Humboldt
Overheard by: dani d
Queer: Hey! Nice tits!
Morbidly obese fag hag: Hey, thanks!
–Metropolitan & Humboldt
Overheard by: dani d
Slutty girl: Yeah, we were both drunk and he hit the wrong hole. I've been shitting blood for two days.
–Citi Field Stadium
Gay guy: I mean… She made my dick bleed.
–St. Mark's
Overheard by: jax
Chick laughing hysterically on cell: I know! So much blood came out of his ears!
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Fresh Man
Black man on phone: This car was ripped in half, they had to cut this dude out with the jaws of life, he come out bleeding from his eye sockets and shit. (pause) So you wanna meet up later?
–Willoughby & Vanderbilt
Female art student: I love people who fit into a stereotype!
Flamingly gay art student: I like being racist.
Female art student: What?!
–NYU
[“Umbrella” by rihanna is being loudly played.]Stoned gay guy: Oh my god, I love this song. This is totally what you hear before you start shooting kids in the projects.
Gay guy: Uh, excuse me?
Stoned gay guy: Yeah. You know, it’s like your pump-up jam.
–E 10th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Dying of laughter
Queer: Who’s up there?
Woman: Madonna.
Queer: Oh, well, I figured, obviously. I’d recognize her back anywhere.
–Times Square
Queer: Oh my God, are they Voguing? That is so 1990.
–Times Square
Queer: I am going to learn Aramaic so Jesus can understand me.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Lynn Casey
Screaming deranged lesbian to gay leathermen: Who's the titty toucher?
(bewildered looks all around, then a gay leatherman sheepishly raises hand)
Screaming deranged lesbian: Here's a 10% coupon! Thanks for the titty grope!
–The Leatherman Store
Queer: I haven’t pooped in two days and I work at The Gap.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Jason
Party girl: Did you see Mark last night? I mean, he was doing coke off a hooker's ass.
Party queer, pouting: I so did that last week, and no one even said anything…
–Third North Courtyard, NYU
Overheard by: this is why I don't want anyone to know I go to NYU
Gay guy to friend: I may be gay but I’m not stupid.
–The Flame Diner, 58th St & 9th Ave
Woman to man: But they were only stopping the dumbasses… That’s why they stopped your dumb ass.
–W 66th St & Amsterdam Ave
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
(Blonde is having trouble hailing cab during rush hour)
Gypsy cab driver in town car: No one will take you cuz you’re stupid!
–116th & Broadway
20-something guy to girl: It’s eleven and it will take you till one to get home, then I’ll call you and tell you how stupid you are.
–4th St Subway Station
Overheard by: Glad I’m not dating him
Girl: Alexis, we’ve been over this. You’re stupid.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Crosby
Bimbette, yelling into cell: Yo! Look who you’re talking to–I’m not exactly the smartest person in the world!
–Amsterdam Ave
Overheard by: dumb as a rock
