Girl: Oh! Did I tell you? Karen* had an orgasm from anal!
Queer: You guys can can do that too?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Sean, not queer but not straight
Girl: Oh! Did I tell you? Karen* had an orgasm from anal!
Queer: You guys can can do that too?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Sean, not queer but not straight
Dude: He’s the black, blind Motown equivalent of Kenny G.
–113th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Girl, while leaving screening of "I am legend": Okay… I cannot believe the woman did not know Bob Marley! I mean, that had to be the most unrealistic thing in that entire film.
–Fresh Meadows, Queens
Overheard by: hmmm…
Curly-haired chick: Has New Order become an okay kinky sex background band? Am I *old*?
–113th & Broadway
Overheard by: Poogins
Guy, standing next to guy listening to Journey on his iPod: Get away from me! Just get the fuck away from me!
–2 Train
Dumb girl dressed like Scary Spice en route to the concert: Yeah, a lot of people think that the Spice Girls like, reinstated feminism.
–NJ Transit
Yale grad: Eminem has a wonderful sense of meter.
–Court St., Brooklyn
Overheard by: Justin Casement
Queer: We only stayed for 15 minutes, I’m not that into karaoke. And when a coven of lesbians start casting their spells to "My Sharona", I was outta there."
–Chambers & Greenwich
Overheard by: Grand Witch Muffy
Hipster girl: Look, just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you have to dress like a fifth grader.
–Union Pool, Brooklyn
Vain fag, looking at pants: I really love these shorts, I hope they’re *in* this summer…
–LIRR
Guy wearing bright green leather clogs: No, I’d never wear crocs. They’re ugly.
–Forest Hills Gardens, Queens
Overheard by: Aloof Loner
Goth girl: Let’s buy fur coats and throw paint on ourselves.
–Bloomingdale’s
Disembodied voice: Yo, these are mom jeans. I hate that shit! The waist goes all the way up to your stomach and then it makes a little V-neck pouch for your vagina. I hate that shit!
–Fitting Rooms, Gap in Herald Square
Overheard by: Zarya
[Waiting in line for the washroom.]Lady, bawling her eyes out: Sorry, I ordered this jacket, and it’s two sizes too big!
–Macy’s
Overheard by: Tracy
Queer: New York is a gay-Jewish city; of course everybody complains!
–6 train
Overheard by: Secondhand Nose
Twink #1: What’s that place across the street like?
Twink #2: Ugh. A total Foley bar.
Twink #1: Ew.
–Outside The Hanger Bar, Christopher St
Overheard by: Joe Jervis
Hipster girl: You know, you really should try reading something with more substance… Like War and Peace.
Queer, flipping through fashion mag: ‘Warm Piece’? Is that, like, porn?
Hipster girl: I said, War. And. Peace.
Queer: Okay, I’m not reading any magazine I’ve never even heard of.
–F train
Overheard by: Kathy Iandoli
Guy on cell: Oh my god, can you see my cornhole? Well, does it at least look good? I went with him to Two Boots. I feel like I’m completely impacted. I might have to get three colonics.
Girl with him, after he hangs up: Oh my god, I really need a boyfriend.
–Sugar Sweet Sunshine Bakery
Guy #1: His schlong was so long!
Guy #2: Did you get HIV?
Guy #1: No, I tested myself. You stick the thing in your butt for, like, five minutes like a thermometer. It feels so good.
–Washington Square Park
Queer: Hey! Nice tits!
Morbidly obese fag hag: Hey, thanks!
–Metropolitan & Humboldt
Overheard by: dani d
Slutty girl: Yeah, we were both drunk and he hit the wrong hole. I've been shitting blood for two days.
–Citi Field Stadium
Gay guy: I mean… She made my dick bleed.
–St. Mark's
Overheard by: jax
Chick laughing hysterically on cell: I know! So much blood came out of his ears!
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Fresh Man
Black man on phone: This car was ripped in half, they had to cut this dude out with the jaws of life, he come out bleeding from his eye sockets and shit. (pause) So you wanna meet up later?
–Willoughby & Vanderbilt
