30-something fag hag: I mean, cum is a fine substance. In small quantities it can even be kind of pleasant. But you wouldn’t want a bucket of it.
Queer: Speak for yourself.
–Miracle Grill
Overheard by: Trying not to choke on my nachos
30-something fag hag: I mean, cum is a fine substance. In small quantities it can even be kind of pleasant. But you wouldn’t want a bucket of it.
Queer: Speak for yourself.
–Miracle Grill
Overheard by: Trying not to choke on my nachos
Girl: So I decided that from now on, I'm not kissing anyone on one night stands.
Queer (gasping): That's so Pretty Woman!
–A Train
Latina to male stranger: I’m bi, my homegirl bi, my sister bi. My other sister kissed a girl…
Girl nearby: My mom bi.
Guy: But I’m not. I’m gay.
–Bus
Overheard by: needs a car
Sales guy: Are you going to Google me?
Queer: I don’t know, are you Google-able?
–Saks Fifth Avenue
Queer #1: The thing about sexuality is…
Queer #2: No! Were you gay when you were a prostitute?
–3rd St & 7th Ave
Girl: Oh! Did I tell you? Karen* had an orgasm from anal!
Queer: You guys can can do that too?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Sean, not queer but not straight
Dude: He’s the black, blind Motown equivalent of Kenny G.
–113th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Girl, while leaving screening of "I am legend": Okay… I cannot believe the woman did not know Bob Marley! I mean, that had to be the most unrealistic thing in that entire film.
–Fresh Meadows, Queens
Overheard by: hmmm…
Curly-haired chick: Has New Order become an okay kinky sex background band? Am I *old*?
–113th & Broadway
Overheard by: Poogins
Guy, standing next to guy listening to Journey on his iPod: Get away from me! Just get the fuck away from me!
–2 Train
Dumb girl dressed like Scary Spice en route to the concert: Yeah, a lot of people think that the Spice Girls like, reinstated feminism.
–NJ Transit
Yale grad: Eminem has a wonderful sense of meter.
–Court St., Brooklyn
Overheard by: Justin Casement
Queer: We only stayed for 15 minutes, I’m not that into karaoke. And when a coven of lesbians start casting their spells to "My Sharona", I was outta there."
–Chambers & Greenwich
Overheard by: Grand Witch Muffy
Hipster girl: Look, just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you have to dress like a fifth grader.
–Union Pool, Brooklyn
Vain fag, looking at pants: I really love these shorts, I hope they’re *in* this summer…
–LIRR
Guy wearing bright green leather clogs: No, I’d never wear crocs. They’re ugly.
–Forest Hills Gardens, Queens
Overheard by: Aloof Loner
Goth girl: Let’s buy fur coats and throw paint on ourselves.
–Bloomingdale’s
Disembodied voice: Yo, these are mom jeans. I hate that shit! The waist goes all the way up to your stomach and then it makes a little V-neck pouch for your vagina. I hate that shit!
–Fitting Rooms, Gap in Herald Square
Overheard by: Zarya
[Waiting in line for the washroom.]Lady, bawling her eyes out: Sorry, I ordered this jacket, and it’s two sizes too big!
–Macy’s
Overheard by: Tracy
Queer: New York is a gay-Jewish city; of course everybody complains!
–6 train
Overheard by: Secondhand Nose
Twink #1: What’s that place across the street like?
Twink #2: Ugh. A total Foley bar.
Twink #1: Ew.
–Outside The Hanger Bar, Christopher St
Overheard by: Joe Jervis
