Small, nervous boy: Mom, what’s necrophilia?
Harried mother: Jesus Christ! I told you not to hang around Uncle Gary unless there’s another adult with you!
Small, nervous boy: I didn’t! My daddy was there, too!
Harried mother: Oh my god. We’re moving back to the Island.
–12th St & Ave B
Straight girl: Oooohhh, you know who has the best tits? Isabella Rossellini. Great, great tits.
Gay guy: Oh, you're right! I didn't even think of her.
Straight girl: I don't know how someone her age can have tits that great.
Gay guy: Yeah, if your tits are half that good when you turn her age, you should die a happy woman.
Lesbian: Dear god, why are we talking about Isabella Rossellini's tits on the subway? For that matter, why are we talking about them anywhere?!
–N Train
Hobo #1: Yo, what it is brah?
Hobo #2: I don't know man, what it is witchyou?
Hobo #1: I don't know man, but I'm tryin' to get it!
–Washington Square Park
Chick #1: Would you ever get your pubic hair chemically straightened?
Chick #2: No, I wouldn’t let Chinese people touch my vagina.
–A train
Overheard by: Francesca
Girl #1, in library: Where's Samantha*?
Girl #2: Over there. (points)
Girl #1: I don't see her. Oh, there she is! She blends in with the nerds.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Skinny black man: Can you tell me what a fiasco is?
White guy at table with him: Yeah, it's like a party, a big party.
–Outside Nathan's, Coney Island
Overheard by: Justi
Asian stereotype #1: Yeah, if I'm not valedictorian, I'll definitely be in the top ten.
Asian stereotype #2: Wait, but aren't there like thirteen people in the top ten?
–1 Train
Overheard by: non-stereotype Asian
Girl: These fish are big, yo! Or is this tank magnetic?
–Petland, Greenpoint
Overheard by: miles
Young child: Mommy, how do black people have sex?
Mom: Ask your father.
–9th & 8th, Park Slope
Girl to homeless man #1: Here is my leftover food, if you want it.
Homeless man #1: Thanks.
Homeless man #2: You stupid bitch, why don't you just give him crack?
–Waverly Place & Broadway
Overheard by: SJP
