Questions

Wednesday One-Liners Get Physical, Physical

Guy on cell: But baby, it's a full body workout, depending on the position.

–Pratt Campus

Jogger on phone: I gotta stay in shape, you know? I'm not getting any younger. Even though the guys I graduated with look worse than I do.

–Marine Park, Brooklyn

Overheard by: wantsoutof_bklyn

Older lady to young male athletic facility employee: Do you have big balls? Exercise balls? I want bigger balls than you have there.

–NYU Palladium Athletic Facility, 140 E 14th St

Overheard by: JohnB

Large smoking man with burrito and Margarita: I can never work out, I'm too drunk all the time!

–Blockheads

Overheard by: how do you live?

Sassy black lady: Daaaamn! You're making me walk all the way to 45th Street?

–42nd St

Large Latina on cell: So I grabbed the baby and said "Kali! She likes this!" and started doing squats.

–Prospect Park

Overheard by: Russel

NewsFlash: Subway Fare Increases Drive Many to Desperation

20-something Asian girl: She's a freak. She's made out with a 65-year-old Chinese man.
20-something Dutch girl: Maybe he looked 40 then.
20-something Asian girl: He's still 65.
20-something Dutch girl: Hey, age ain't nothing but a number!
20-something Asian girl: What?!
20-something Dutch girl: No, actually that is not okay. He even has a special Metrocard so he can ride the subway for a discount.

–11th & Ave C

Overheard by: CM

The Mailman?

JAP #1: Oh my gosh. Have you seen her lately?
JAP #2: No… Why?
JAP #1: She got fat!
JAP #2: Oh my god, but she moved to Westchester.
JAP #1: I know. I mean, what else is there to do there?

–Houston & Bowery

Overheard by: jappygirl#3

Curiosity Kills Desire in the Insecure

Hipster girl: Why is the sky blue?
Boy: I don't know. Let's never kiss again.

–Times Square

Overheard by: holding sushi.

Grandpa's Been Acting Weird Since He Got Feathered Bangs

Little boy: Grandpa, how are we going to get home?
Grandpa: (flaps his arms like he is a flying bird)

–6 Train

Overheard by: Meg.

Speaking Of Train Wrecks?

Conductor (for the fifth time): You must be in one of the first five cars to get out at South Ferry. You must be in one of the first five cars.
Black chick: We heard you the first ten damn times!
Crazy guy: You don't control the subway, Houston controls the subway!
Black chick: I don't know what you be sayin' but we speak English here in America.
Crazy guy: You don't control the subway, Houston controls the subway! …do you like Whitney Houston?

–Downtown 1 Train

Overheard by: Trey C.

And Has Better Legs Than I Do!

Woman: Is angel a boy or a girl?
Teenager: Angel's a boy, mom.
Woman: But he sounds like a girl!

–Nederlander Theatre

Plus I Ate a Latke Once.

Dominican #1: But I'm a Jew, man!
Dominican #2: You're a Jew?
Dominican #1: Shit yeah.
Dominican #2: Man, I didn't know there was any Jewish Dominicans.
Dominican #1: Not that kind of Jew. You ever met a Dominican Jew? Dominicans aren't Jews! I just feel Jewish, man. My whole life I've been feelin' Jewish like that. You know, like if there's a penny on the street I pick it up!

–168th St Subway

I'm Good, Thanks

Hobo to cashier: Hey, Mike, are you a junkie?
Cashier: No.
Hobo: Would you like to be?

–Love Saves the Day, 7th St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Caelster

As Much So As Anything at the MoMA

19-year-old kid, examining stack of legal-sized paper with type on it in a stairwell corner area: It's art.
19-year-old friend: It's art?
19-year-old kid: I guess.

–Whitney Museum, Biennial Exhibit

Overheard by: Amanda

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