Old lady #1: His head was between my legs.
Old lady #2: Was he big?
–M23 bus
Overheard by: Priscilla Perez
Old lady #1: His head was between my legs.
Old lady #2: Was he big?
–M23 bus
Overheard by: Priscilla Perez
Girl #1: I swear! This place exists!
Girl #2: If this place exists, then how come I can’t see it?
–Bleecker St
Overheard by: Bones
Guy #1: He came up and said, ‘Hey, big boy, wanna ring my bell?’
Guy #2: And…?
Guy #1: And of course I said I didn’t! But… it was nice being asked.
–The Shake Shack, Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Impatiently Waiting in Line for her Peanut Butter
Hobo with jar around his neck reading “TIPS” is approached by another hobo wearing a sign reading “CLASSIC BUM.” An American Apparel employee comes out and takes a Polariod.
“TIPS” hobo: This is a Bum War, lady. But you like what you see? Spare some change?
–Houston & Orchard
Tourist suit: Excuse me, can you tell me where the Empire State Building is?
Guy: Just look up, man.
–32nd & 5th
Overheard by: still looks up
Filipino girl #1: So, he’s from Bangladesh, right?
White guy: Really? Are you sure? ‘Cause he looks white…
Filipino girl #2: Yeah, but he’s really Filipino. Bangladesh is in Asia, right?
Filipino girl #1: Yeah, but not our part, which is why he doesn’t look completely white like me.
–1 train
Chick: Hey, how’s it going?
Dude: Hey, wassup?
Chick: Not much. It’s so weird to see you outside.
Dude: I know. I told you I lived near you.
Chick: Oh, yeah. I remember now.
Dude: What are you doing here?
Chick: Heard the coffee here is pretty famous.
Dude: Yeah, it is.
Chick: Anyways, I gotta go, but do you even know my name?
Dude: No…
Chick: What? I know yours. Tony, right?
Dude: No. I’m Dennis.
Chick: Oh, shit. Okay, Dennis. I’m Sonia. Anyways, gotta go. I will see you again, okay?
Dude: Alright. Bye.
Chick: Bye.
–Central Park
Dwarf with walking disability: Could you go upstairs and get me a glass of water?
Man: Water? To drink?
Dwarf: Yeah, to drink. What do you think I’m gonna do with it, wash my hair?
Nearby woman: You could swim in it, I guess.
–Abington Theatre Lobby
Overheard by: Chris
Hippie kid: Hey, man, do you know which way North is?
Club kid: Wow, I’m bad with directions…
Hippie kid: So, does that mean you don’t know how to get to 15th Street?
Club kid: Oh, yeah! I can give someone the right directions for once! It’s that way [points to 13th Street.
–14th & 8th
Ghetto girl: Hey, look! What’s that? I think it’s an egg!
Friend: What the hell?! What’s wrong with you? Monkeys don’t lay eggs!
Ghetto girl: … Well, how was I supposed to know that?!
–Bronx Zoo, Jungle World
Overheard by: cracking up behind them
