Drunk to Asian guy: Tell me, why is it that when Asians get in street fights, they never use their martial arts?
–1 Train
Overheard by: Fonvielle
Waiter: Please let me know if you have any food allergies. We ninjas don't like to kill by accident; we only kill on purpose.
–Ninja Japanese Restaurant
Little boy to grandfather: Hey grandpa, are you a black belt or any kind of ninja?
–Cobble Hill, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Jess
Health care worker: I'ma kill that ninja!
–Brooklyn Health Center
Black thug #1, holding Indiana Jones dvd: Damn, son, look how young and fly and hip that nigga Harrison Ford was. That shit made his career, son!
Black thug #2: I dunno, man. I don't like a white dude with a whip.
–Best Buy
Overheard by: rob
Large black woman to friend: So like, he's totally gonna bring Randi's hot sister to the x-mas party! Score for Matt!
Black dude passing by: Ewww, you sound like a white girl.
–125th St, Harlem
Overheard by: Miss Ivy
Black girl #1, as she passes a white couple making out in the middle of the sidewalk: Dude, that's where I got the idea to have sex in the park.
Black girl #2: What?
Black girl #1: Well, I didn't get the idea from black people.
(black girl #2 laughs)
Black girl #1: What? Lots of people have sex in the park.
–Broadway & Spring
Overheard by: I love people…..
Guy #1: I'm not afraid to tell people that I voted for Obama cuz he's black.
Guy #2: I voted for him cuz he's cool.
Guy #1: My reason is way cooler!
–Washington Square Park
High School student #1: So you're gonna vote?
High School student #2: Yeah, you get to miss first period when you vote.
High School student #1: Who you gonna vote for?
High School student #2: I dunno. I heard some Latino guy is running.
–Queens
Indian girl #1: Man, my roommates are filthy! I am the only one who cleans.
Indian girl #2: Yeah, that's because your roommates are white.
Indian girl #1, widening eyes: Oh. My. God. You're right!
Indian girl #3: Yeah, dude, white people are gross.
–Duane Reade
White guy to black kid in subway doorway: Don't stop right in the doorway, you punk! Don't yell at me for running into you when you stopped in front of me!
Black kid: Yo, dude, if I were really, really black, I'd kill you right now!
–F Train
White volunteer tutor from Princeton: So imagine I'm trying out for the basketball team…
Black student #1: You play basketball?
Black student #2: Do you play tennis?
Black student #1: That's racist!
–Public High School, Queens
Teenage boy, explaining why he joined the Air Force: We've been around since World War II. We fought against the Germans and sank several submarines. We also killed a whale, but that's not the point.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
20-something dude to friend: Ma-fucking-rines! The Marines! Man, I'ma join up, be a Marine, and go all over the world, fuck, and have babies. I'ma get laid and have a baby in every country: Spain, France… even Pakistan!
–50th & 8th
Overheard by: camillia*
Little boy in army fatigues hiding behind fallen tree: Pow! Pow! Look, mommy! It's the Battle of the Bulge!
–St. Mark's
Lady with Russian accent to salesperson in outerwear section: I don't like the style, it's not feminine. It's like for soldiers, or Chinese people.
–Lord & Taylor, 39th St
Overheard by: mira
Off-duty MTA worker to another: Britain? Whatever man, we beat they ass with… muskets and shit!
–6 Train
