Mother to two children: Okay, time to leave.
Little girl, trying to push her way through as her brother holds the door closed: Daaaaviiiiid!
Mother to black security guard: I guess that’s just a brother for you.
Security guard looks uncomfortable.
Mother, quickly: I mean, that’s just a brother’s job, right?
–Bergdorf Goodman, 5th Ave
Overheard by: vivienne
White girl on cell: Wait, you’re watching BET? Well, do you feel black and/or entertained?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Casey
Black guy: So you see, white bitches just don’t understand that I have a big ass penis.
–St. Mark’s
Teenage black girl: See those buildings over there? That’s where I stay. Yeah, it’s nice and shit. I like it. Too many white people moved in, though. That’s why I’m KKK…Krazy Kracker Killa!
–Uptown 1 train
Overheard by: aq
Black guy to white girl: You’d better not stay in the rain too long; sugar melts!
–117th & 5th
Overheard by: robin b
JAP: It’s not like I don’t like his parties, I just don’t fit in. Hello! I’m white!
–8th St & 5th Ave
Black guy: Well I have black friends, but they just don’t understand. You know what I’m sayin’? Certain races, dog.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Ghetto girl: What was these two white bitches doing in Harlem at 2:30 in the morning? You know how white they was? They so white they names was Ashley and Haley. That’s how white they was!
–Uptown 5 train
Midwestern tourist points to a black guy and says, to his tween daughter: You see that guy over there? You see how he’s a different color than you? You see that sometimes in big cities.
–Downtown 6 train
Overheard by: Gwen
Black girl to black friend: Yo, man, you’re acting like a black person.
–N train, Ditmars Blvd, Queens
Juicer: Oh, shit! We got customers in the store! We gotta stop acting so black!
–Jamba Juice, University Place
Frustrated woman, who has been trying in vain to hail a cab: What am I, black?
–21st & 6th
Black girl to black friend: We never gonna get a cab unless we start hangin’ with some white folks.
–Orchard & Houston
Overheard by: white folk
Teenage girl: But Bob Dylan is Jewish. That’s kind of black.
–Upper West Side
Black girl: Why we gotta be black all the time? Why can’t we be white for two minutes?
–Wendy’s, W 34th St
JAP: I hate being white!
–66th & Broadway
White teen girl: Now I know what it feels like to be a minority.
–Chinatown
White woman to black woman: I feel like I understand the black struggle because I feel I was black in a past life.
–Penn Station
Thug on cell: Black people like catfish also, nigga!
–110th & Broadway
Overheard by: Mappy and Chocolate
Ghetto girl at crosswalk: Ooh, lil’ white man tells me to walk, so I’m walkin’!
–Times Square
Overheard by: bully
Girl #1: Do Italians live in Little Italy?
Girl #2: Shh…Just, shh.
Guy: Did you really just ask that?
Girl #2: That’s why I told her to shh. I was hoping no one else heard her.
Girl #1: Well, I think it’s a legit question. All I see is Chinamen.
–Little Italy
Overheard by: Ashley
Doorman #1: What if she was a Chinese woman, would you help her?
Doorman #2: Oh, hell no.
–W 77th St
Overheard by: Cole Goadbog
Friend: First you suspect he’s a date rapist, and now you’re worried he isn’t going to call?
–Union Square
Trendy woman: I need to be touched by a man in a loving way…It doesn’t even have to be loving.
—Pirates of the Caribbean 2 advance screening, the Ziegfield
Overheard by: Nick Draven
20-something girl on cell: I just wanna kiss someone!
–M15 bus
Girl: I’m going to make out with someone tonight. I’ve already decided.
–4th St, between 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: Ted
Well-dressed guy: You just hate that you can’t get a one-eyed, homeless black guy to think you’re hot.
–B train
Overheard by: Sugarnuts
Hispanic dude: Whoa, you better watch out. The cops will bust you for carrying an open container.
Hispanic chick: No they won’t. She’s white.
–N 1st & Bedford, Williamsburg
Overheard by: open container
Day camper: This one’s a nigger joke.
Camp counselor: It’s a what?
Day camper: A newer joke.
Camp counselor, relieved: Oh, go ahead.
–162nd St
Overheard by: Someone who also heard nigger
White girl: Man, I’m sweating like a Jew in the Holocaust!
White guy: Yeah, and I’m sweating like a nigga on a rape charge.
–G train
Overheard by: hot and sweaty
Guy #1: I’d rape her. I mean, if I were in Africa I’d rape her.
Guy #2: She has a cameraman that knows kung fu, you foul Negro!
Guy #1: After I shoot him in the head, all that kung fu knowledge bleeds out.
–Katra, Bowery & Rivington
Overheard by: Michael Winfield
Guy #1 (wearing do-rag): You know why I wear this shit, man?
Guy #2: Nah, man, why?
Guy #1: Because I love the stare. I love it when some dumb white guy stares at me and asks why I wear this so I can curse the shit out of that mothafucka!
–14th & 1st
