Girl #1: What do you mean?
Girl #2: I mean, it sucks to be her. I'd be pissed too if I got an STD after having sex with an illegal immigrant.
–NYU Dorm
Girl #1: What do you mean?
Girl #2: I mean, it sucks to be her. I'd be pissed too if I got an STD after having sex with an illegal immigrant.
–NYU Dorm
Student: Why is there a biology textbook on your desk?
English teacher: Because I'm in love with life and the way it's made.
(15 seconds later)
English teacher: Not that way! You guys are gross!
–Hunter College High School
Columbia student to another: When I get rich, I'm totally having the sweat glands in my armpits removed.
–Columbia University
Undergrad to friend: So I should tell you about today's existential crisis…
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Katie Naum
Guy to group of friends: Hey, you guys ever watch that video in health ed, of disabled people having sex? It was upsetting.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: L-Dubbs
Columbia undergrad: I am taking so many classes right now, like 18 credits, cause I have no clue what to do with my life. Part of me wants to go to business school here because I can make a lot of money fast, and part of me wants to go to law school here because it's more practical and will make me more over the long run. But then I am also in this class on genocide, which is a topic I love. So maybe I will do something with that instead.
–Max Cafe, 122nd & Amsterdam Ave
Overheard by: reluctantprof
Guy #1: So what did you say to him?
Guy #2: I said, “if you refuse to believe I'm gay, I am going to invite a boy over to our apartment and have sex with him while you stand there and watch.”
–E 7th St
Guy #1: Did you fuck her last night?
Guy #2: I fucked that bitch so hard, I broke da bitch's cuntbone!
–Comfort Diner, E 45th St
Obama condom vendor: Obama condoms! A health care plan we can all afford!
Gloomy college kid: Not me…
Obama condom vendor: Obama condoms! A health care plan we can all afford unless you don't have sex, like this guy!
–Union Square
Girl on cell: Okay, how do I put this delicately? (pause) Yeah, I don't think I can. Here's the difference between you and me: when I hear that a guy I like is riddled with STDs, I cut off all ties and stop thinking of him as a potential sexual conquest. (pause) Alright, dude, but don't come crying to me when you get your first outbreak.
–Chelsea
Overheard by: tatunit
20-something girl: I swear to god: if I get syphilis, I'm spreading it.
–Penn Station
Girl on cell phone: Yeah, and then the lady asked me to take off my pants because she wanted to do an examination. Well, I freaked because it's like a fucking jungle down there, and I wasn't expecting the exam. It was alright, though, the poster in front of me with disgusting images of vaginas with warts and cysts and stuff gave me comfort that the situation could be a lot more embarrassing.
–NYU Health Center
Girl on cell: I didn't say anything about your sister having herpes!
–Hunter College
Crazy health teacher: Now I am going to speak about sexually transmitted diseases. I know this is a subject which you enjoy. (students laugh) What? It is true. Everyone begins to grow excited when I speak of this subject.
–High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Drunk British guy to woman with small dog: My god, your dog is beautiful!
Woman: Thanks.
(British guy leans down and makes sexual motions near dog)
Woman: Stop, oh my god!
British guy, getting up: Lady, can you not see that I'm just trying to appreciate a beautiful dog! (runs away)
–Ave A & 9th St
Guy #1: So I spent most of the night at her place, but we only made out.
Guy #2: Dude, she wanted to fuck you!
Guy #1: I know, I don't know what I was doing.
Guy #2: Well, dude, you did fuck her!
Guy #1: What'ya mean?
Guy #2: She wanted to fuck you, but you didn't fuck her, right?
Guy #1: Right.
Guy #2: She got fucked!
–Lolita Bar
Dude #1: I think Elizabeth and Adrienne are sleeping together.
Dude #2: Yeah?
Dude #1: Yeah. Their body language is like, “when can we get out of here and have sex?”
–4th Ave and 11th St
Overheard by: Ultimate Warrior
