Scarlett Johansson's Wearing Wednesday One-Liners This Season

(Asian tourist walks onto subway with large panda-head shaped hat)
Random guy: Take off that silly ass hat!

–Uptown 1 Train

Guy: When I wear my other coat, I look like a yak.

–Mott St

Overheard by: robin

Thug to friend: I totally know fashion designers. I know who Hill-finger is.

–Thompson Street, SoHo

Drunk guy to orthodox Jew: Nice lid.

–Near Herald Square

Guy walking out of subway: Then she came in and told me to put the mask on.

–6 Train

Overheard by: Sarah

History teacher to class: Now, if you want a decent straw hat, do not make one.

–Millennium High School

Overheard by: Adriana

Posted on January 1, 2016
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Asians, Ass, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Chinatown, Classroom, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Drunks, Fashion, Fast Times at New York High, Friends, Guys, Insults, Jews, Names, On the Subway, One-liners, Physical appearance, S&M, Soho, Students, Stupidity, Teachers/Professors, Tourists, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Just a Little Bit Of Wednesday One-Liner Repeating

Mother to child in front of diorama of pilgrims and Native Americans: Well, that's because the Indians never met real people before.

–Museum of Natural History

Overheard by: Peter R.

Young girl, arriving through train tunnel at Grand Central Station: I wonder if Harriet Tubman is down here.

–Grand Central Station

Airhead: I think like… Colonialization is like… The umbrella theme of, like… Diplomacy.

–Pommes Frites

History teacher, about Andrew Jackson: He tight, he kill mad people, he buggin'.

–High School

Teacher, discussing Thomas Jefferson's mistress: You see, guys? History is exciting! It's full of sex!

–High School, Lower Manhattan

Overheard by: SzN31

Posted on December 27, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Classroom, Compare/Contrast, Fast Times at New York High, Girls, Grand Central, History & Geography, Idiots, Kids, Lower Manhattan, Moms, Murder, Museum of Natural History, One-liners, Restaurants & Cafes, School and studying, Sex, Students, Stupidity, Teachers/Professors, Train Station, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Technically, It is Literally “Like” a Month

Professor guy: Okay everyone, I will see you in 3 weeks. Have a good Thanksgiving!
Girl #1: 3 weeks, that’s awesome!
Girl #2: I know…3 weeks, that’s like a month!!
Girl #1: Literally.

–Meyer Hall, Washington Place

Overheard by: pieces

Posted on December 27, 2015
Academics, College, Education, Girls, Holidays, Manhattan, Students, Stupidity

The Offended Party Sued for Mao Practice

Professor: And what was the issue in this case?
Law student: The company was displaying won-ton negligence.
Professor: Okay, good, but some people pronounce it ‘wanton.’

–Brooklyn Law School

Posted on December 20, 2015
Brooklyn, Students, Stupidity, Teachers/Professors, Words

The College Reunion Was a Mistake, Huh?

Student: How was your break?
Math teacher: Screw you!

–Hunter College High School

Overheard by: citysnidget

Posted on December 9, 2015
Default, Hunter, Insults, Questions, Students, Teachers/Professors, Upper East Side

I Just Think Brad Pitt Is a Terrific Actor

Female college student: I keep telling you, you’re not gay!
Male college student, sheepish: I know, I know…

–NYU

Posted on December 7, 2015
NYU, Sexuality, Students

Plus Her Status Updates Are More Interesting Than Ever

Graduate student #1: Should I remove the dead girl from my Facebook friends? It's kind of sad when she comes up.
Graduate student #2: No.
Graduate student #1: Why not?
Graduate student #2: Wouldn't it be even sadder if she was dead and had no Facebook friends?

–114th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Daniel

Posted on December 6, 2015
Advice, Death, Default, Facebook, Friendship, Questions, Students, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness

So, Problem Solved, Right?

Student #1: Like, oh my god, I don’t know what the fuck to do with my life. Shit. I’m like, having a fucking crisis and tripping out. Like, fuck. I don’t know what the fuck is going on. I, like, don’t have any insight on my life right now.
Student #2: Oh my god! I forgot to tell you — Whoopi Goldberg came into the Apple Store where I work today, and I was trying not to trip out!
Student #1: Oh my god! I love her! I just found her show on the radio the other day!

–Starbucks, Columbus Circle

Overheard by: office peon

Posted on November 12, 2015
About Celebrities, Idiots, Jobs & Careers, Starbucks, Students

The Three Train Is the Anal Train

Traveling students: We want to go to 116th Street — Columbia — so we take this train? This Three train?
NY-er: No, that train goes to a bad place. You want the One train.

–96th St station

Posted on October 24, 2015
Advice, Students, Subway stations, platforms, etc.

If Our Society Has Learned Nothing Else from “Total Request Live”, It's That.

Teacher: What's going on, guys? Why are your test scores so low?
Emotional girl: Well, there's just so much homework and you want to do it all, but you also want to really understand the material and there's just so much of it, and it's just so hard and … (squeals loudly)
Girl next to her: Nothing to express teenage angst like a good squeal.

–Bard High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny

Posted on October 23, 2015
Education, Fast Times at New York High, Queens, Questions, School and studying, Students, Teachers/Professors, Wishes & desires

Students