It's Wednesday One-Linas, Boo

Thug to girlfriend: Listen, baby, I'm not really lying, fully!

–Ave B & 10th St

Thug: Yo, I wanna go to yoga, son!

–St. Marks Place

Thug: Sometimes I look around and wonder if in my next life I might be a bird.

–1st & 3rd

Overheard by: Angela

Short thug on cell: I'm gonna get you some slippers, mami, so you can show off your feet. Show off your feet. (pause) Show off your feet!

–7th Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Ladle

Thug to thug friend: Yo, man, you gotta wake up and smell them Arabica beans!

–CVS

Overheard by: freshly brewed.

Thug, yelling to female companion: When you gon' let me show you some dick? When you gon' let me show you some dick? Just let me show you to see if you like it! If not, you can go back to those bitches! At least we'll have something in common!

–7th Ave & 21st St, Brooklyn

Thug, excitedly discussing favorite cold stone flavor: Yo, no homo man! Peanut sensation!

–Downtown D Train

Overheard by: Raven

Posted on April 10, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Birds, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Coffee, Food, Gays and Lesbians, Girlfriends, Lies, Nicknames & name calling, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Penis, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Shoes, Store, Street, Stupidity, Thugs, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women, Yoga

“The Old Dom” Doesn’t Sound Quite So Hot

Southern man: What the hell is a steak free-tes?
Southern woman: Oh honey, it’s a chicken fried steak and they probably serve it with grits. This is where famous people come to eat like real human beings.
Southern man: Well hell, they should call it somethin’ more respectable than Pasties.

–Pastis, 9th & Little W. 12th

Overheard by: Jack B. Nimble

Posted on April 10, 2015
Ethnic Food, Idiots, Language Barrier, Names, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Southerners, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Words

No Change? Airports Are Making Great Strides in Lip-Gloss Confiscation!

White 20-something #1: Have you heard about the September 11th controversy?
White 20-something #2: No…what?
White 20-something #1: Well, Kanye and 50 Cent are both releasing their new albums on that date and if Kanye outsells 50 then 50 says that he is going to retire from rapping.
White 20-something #2: Wow! That's controversial.
White 20-something #1: Is it crazy that that's the new September 11th controversy? Things have really changed since then…
White 20-something #2 (pensive): Or *have* they?
Black guy to friend: Yo, man! Are you listening to this shit?

–L Train

Posted on April 9, 2015
Black People, Friends, History & Geography, Music, On the Subway, Questions, Stupidity, Wiggers

Real Thieves Don’t Get Caught

Spanish chick #1: Some people are so stupid.
Spanish chick #2: You know what I’m saying?
Spanish chick #3: I’m studying psychology with a friend of mine and he said that this kid he knows got caught stealing but–get this, right?–the kid said he is not a thief he is just a kleptomaniac.

–Clothing store, 106th & 3rd

Overheard by: pimsluer

Posted on April 8, 2015
Girls, Latinos, Psychology, Store, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Thievery, Words

No, but Keep Talking

Mook #1: We should get some eight balls.
Mook #2: Ape balls? Like gorilla balls?

–Mulberry & Spring

Posted on April 8, 2015
Advice, Animals & Nature, Balls, Creepsters, Frat Boys, Nicknames & name calling, Soho, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Teens

Also What He Said About Their Bath Tub

Hipster #1 (pointing towards East River): Is that the Pacific Ocean?
Hipster #2: I think so…

–North 6th & Bedford

Posted on April 7, 2015
Brooklyn, Global Geography, Hipsters, Questions, Stupidity

They Have Stuff Lots of Places

Yuppie chick #1: So, I went to the Museum of Natural History yesterday.
Yuppie chick #2: You wanted to go to the Museum of Natural History?
Yuppie chick #1: Yeah.
Yuppie chick #2: Why?
Yuppie chick #1: ‘Cause they have stuff there.
Yuppie chick #2: You know, I’ve never been to the Museum of Natural History. What kind of stuff do they have there?
Yuppie chick #1: You know, like, natural science stuff… A lot of the stuff there, though, was for little kids.
Yuppie chick #2: Yeah, I wouldn’t go there. Who wants to see natural science stuff?
Yuppie chick #1: Yeah, I mostly thought it was stupid.

–Utopia Diner, 72nd & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Cultured New Yorker

Posted on April 7, 2015
History & Geography, Idiots, NYC Geography, Restaurants & Cafes, Science, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Yuppies

I’m Lovin’ It

Suit: Can I get a Number 2?
McCounterlady: What size?
Suit: What’s the difference between the medium and the large?
McCounterlady: The size.
Suit: Fair enough.

–McDonalds, 50th & Broadway

Overheard by: Ciacci

Posted on April 6, 2015
Junk Food & Fast Food, Restaurants & Cafes, Stupidity, Suits

Readers: Answer This Provincial Question

Yuppie: Like, why do we even have Pennsylvania?

–5th Avenue/53rd St. station

Overheard by: Jamie

Posted on April 6, 2015
One-liners, Questions, Stupidity, Subway stations, platforms, etc., U.S. Geography, Yuppies

The Drawbacks of Freedom

Girl: Is the turkey club lunchmeat or carved turkey?
Waiter: Lunchmeat.
Girl: Great. I’ll take it.
Waiter: You can eat it whenever…in the morning, lunch…
Girl: Never mind, just gimme a minute.

–Morning Star, 9th Avenue

Overheard by: LJ

Posted on April 6, 2015
Food, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Restaurants & Cafes, Stupidity

Stupidity