36 Chambers of Wednesday One-Liners

Homegirl on cell: You live in Staten Island, that’s too close to the wilderness, near the border. I am not emotionally ready to meet you in Staten Island.

–LIRR

Suit: He’s from Staten Island. That my Graceland.

–53rd & 6th

Overheard by: The Sock

Asian chick: What is that fruit called? Durian? That thing stinks so bad! It stinks like Staten Island bad!

–G Train

Overheard by: paco

Girl #1: In how many stops do we get off?
Girl #2: [Blank stare.]

–Staten Island Ferry

Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, the next stop is South Ferry. From there, you can go to the wonderful Battery Park, go see the beautiful Statue of Liberty… Or go to Staten Island.

–1 Train

Overheard by: Smarlow

Posted on April 3, 2015
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Asians, Fears, Fruit, Girls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Names, NYC Geography, On Cell, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, Staten Island Ferry, Statue of Liberty, Stupidity, Subway conductors, Suits, Threats, Trains Not Subway, Words

Wednesday One-liners Hit the Premiere

Guy: The thing about Cronenberg is that you have to appreciate him in
context to what he does…which is often unappreciable.

–Belmont Lounge, East 15th Street

Posted on April 2, 2015
About Celebrities, Arts & Letters, Celebrities Overheard, College, Columbia (& Barnard), Fordham, Friendship, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hobos, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, More museums, Movies, Music, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Poop, Pop Culture, Preppies, Queers, Stupidity, The Bronx, Thugs, Tourists, Union Square and East Village, Violence

America's First Black Wednesday One-Liners

Tranny heading toward Halloween parade, seeing Sarah Palin costume: Oh my god! That's the lady President, right? The assistant President!

–W 4th St Subway Station

(muslim hot dog vendor bows down to pray at 5 pm)
Child in stroller: Look! Look! Mommy! Barack Obama!

–W 60th & Columbus

Overheard by: Brian

Thug, to hot girl passing by: Hey! Yo, girl, excuse me! (she keeps walking) So, you're voting for McCain, then?

–60th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Alex A.

Little girl: I want to vote for Obama…because he's the first black person to run against Bush.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Dana

Sidewalk watch vendor: These are the watches Obama wore before he became Senator!

–33rd St & Broadway

Overheard by: crosstown girl

Little black girl trick-or-treating with family: Two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciate? Obama! Obama!

–Pacific St & Nostrand

Overheard by: Obama Now!

Posted on April 2, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Families, Girls, Islam, Kids, Lies, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Pick-up Lines, Politics, President, Stupidity, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Thugs, Trannies, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Nobody Says Much About Bistro 404

Dude: Oh, man. You need Flash to check out this restaurant's website.
Chick: Does that mean it's really nice?

–Starbucks, W 53rd St

Posted on April 2, 2015
Beauty, Girls, Guys, Internet, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Questions, Starbucks, Stupidity

Don't You Just Love the Pterodactyl Petting Zoo?

Teen #1, disappointed: Yo, she took me to the museum yesterday.
Teen #2: Whoa! This guy goes to museums! Which one?
Teen #1: Not the art one, the other one.
Teen #2: (puzzled silence)
Teen #1: There was like mad prehistoric animals and a big-ass whale and shit.
Teen #2: Oh…the zoo!

–6 Train

Posted on April 2, 2015
Animals & Nature, On the Subway, Stupidity, Teens, Visual Art, Words

Watch What I Can Do With My Face!

Three-year-old in stroller: Have you ever seen a pussy?
Nanny: No.

–76th St & Amsterdam

Posted on April 1, 2015
Girls, Kids, Questions, Stupidity, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Vagina

But More Accurate Than “Lamp-Post”

Drunk girl #1: (points at a green minivan) Cab!
Drunk girl #2: Nope.

–Union Square West

Overheard by: Anna D

Posted on March 31, 2015
Cars and Driving, Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Girls, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village

She Just Emigrated from Munchkinland

Girl #1: Where are you from, again?
Girl #2: Kentucky.
Girl #1: Oh, no…that didn’t get by the tornado, did it?

–Shades of Green, E. 15th Street

Overheard by: Emily

Posted on March 31, 2015
Girls, Stupidity, U.S. Geography

Like Oz, or Swaziland

Man: Look, there’s the arch!
Woman: Oh, I didn’t think this place was real!

–Washington Square Park

Posted on March 30, 2015
Default, Men, NYC Geography, Stupidity, Washington Square Park, Women

What? I'm British.

High school brunette: Hey, how do you spell “who”?
High school blond: Are you retarded?
High school brunette: Just tell me!
High school blond: Wow, I can't believe I have to do this: h-o-u.

–75th & Park

Overheard by: Greg U.

Posted on March 29, 2015
Questions, Sorority Girls, Stupidity, Upper East Side, Words

Stupidity