Teen thug #1: That shit back in the day was like common-ism.
Teen thug #2: Yo, you mean Communism, stupid ass!
–1 train, 86th St
Overheard by: Tommy Wooh
Teen thug #1: That shit back in the day was like common-ism.
Teen thug #2: Yo, you mean Communism, stupid ass!
–1 train, 86th St
Overheard by: Tommy Wooh
Woman (reading Playbill before theater play: Oh, look Sharon*, someone's going to play one of the Marx brothers.
Friend: Which one?
Woman: Karl Marx.
–Lincoln Center
Preppy girl #1: So my mom was like, “I’m serious, stop being a retard or I’ll send you back.”
Preppy girl #2: Really? She’d send you back?
Preppy girl #1: Yeah, for being a retard. What the fuck.
Preppy girl #2: I dunno, man. What the fuck.
–Barnard college
Overheard by: Alix Griffith-Rand
NYU guy #1: But wait, doesn’t Fidel Castro own the Dallas Mavericks?
NYU guy #2: No, no, you’re thinking of Mark Cuban.
NYU guy #1: Oh. What a coincidence.
NYU guy #2: Um, not really.
–Waverly Pl
Shopper: Will you have spring shoes out next week?
Saleslady: What?
Shopper: Spring shoes! Next week?
Saleslady: Spring?
Shopper: Yeah, downstairs they told me you always have the next season’s shoes out one season ahead.
Saleslady: Spring?
Shopper: Yes! Spring! Next week!
–Macy’s
Overheard by: Roxy Chanel McPink
Confused Hispanic woman (feet away from tree): What is going on here?
Unenthusiastic cop: I don’t know… some big tree.
–Rockefeller Center Tree Lighting
Obese Midwestern tourist: So are we gonna go get that falafel thing?
Other Midwestern tourist: Well, if we're gonna go to Hooters we don't need to get the falafel thing.
Obese Midwestern tourist: Why not? I could eat both.
Other Midwestern tourist: Do you know what a falafel thing is?
Obese Midwestern tourist: It's like ice cream.
Other Midwestern tourist: Oh, really? I thought that was gelato.
Obese Midwestern tourist: No, dumbass.
Other Midwestern tourist: Okay, well I guess you'd know…
–7 Train
Overheard by: Caitlin
Man on cell: I’m at the bad Duane Reade right now… Yeah, the one on 14th street…I know that’s the good one, but it’s in danger zone.
–Duane Reade, 14th & 3rd
Overheard by: not in danger zone
Girl on cell: I’m in like the Middle East somewhere… Where are you?
–56th & 7th Ave
Overheard by: dnuggets
Hipster on cell: No, I swear to god I am not in Montreal!
–Outside Alligator Lounge, Williamsburg
Overheard by: miles
Lady yelling into pay phone, by platform: I’m in Yonkers! I’m right by the train!
–W 242 & Broadway, Bronx
Overheard by: Krisztina
Harried guy in suit on his cell: Yeah well, I’m at the Port Authority…I hear this is where the buses leave from.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: JoBell
Screaming man on pay phone: Yo -I told yo ass to meet me on 33rd and 5th. I be standin’ here and you ain’t here. [Pause.] What the fuck do you mean!? I be on da corner waiting for yo ass for the past fifty minutes. I only get an hour for lunch. Now you gone and messed up my day cuz yo ass ain’t show up. [Pauses, speaks more calmly.] I’m on da corner of 33rd and 5th. [Screaming again.] Don’t tell me yo ain’t see me! I’m standing right here!
–35th & Madison
Teen fan #1 (in line to see Cobra Starship): It's freezing! When are they going to let us in?
Teen fan #2: I know, right? I'm going to get leukemia it's so cold!
–W 16th St
Girl #1: So this guy I work with has been hitting on me a lot lately.
Girl #2: Is he Mexican?
Girl #1: No…he’s black or white or something.
–The Cutting Room, West 24th Street
Overheard by: Kate Elizabeth Queram
