Stupidity

Man on cell: I’m at the bad Duane Reade right now… Yeah, the one on 14th street…I know that’s the good one, but it’s in danger zone.

–Duane Reade, 14th & 3rd

Overheard by: not in danger zone

Girl on cell: I’m in like the Middle East somewhere… Where are you?

–56th & 7th Ave

Overheard by: dnuggets

Hipster on cell: No, I swear to god I am not in Montreal!

–Outside Alligator Lounge, Williamsburg

Overheard by: miles

Lady yelling into pay phone, by platform: I’m in Yonkers! I’m right by the train!

–W 242 & Broadway, Bronx

Overheard by: Krisztina

Harried guy in suit on his cell: Yeah well, I’m at the Port Authority…I hear this is where the buses leave from.

–Port Authority

Overheard by: JoBell

Screaming man on pay phone: Yo -I told yo ass to meet me on 33rd and 5th. I be standin’ here and you ain’t here. [Pause.] What the fuck do you mean!? I be on da corner waiting for yo ass for the past fifty minutes. I only get an hour for lunch. Now you gone and messed up my day cuz yo ass ain’t show up. [Pauses, speaks more calmly.] I’m on da corner of 33rd and 5th. [Screaming again.] Don’t tell me yo ain’t see me! I’m standing right here!

–35th & Madison

Teen fan #1 (in line to see Cobra Starship): It's freezing! When are they going to let us in?
Teen fan #2: I know, right? I'm going to get leukemia it's so cold!

–W 16th St

Girl #1: So this guy I work with has been hitting on me a lot lately.
Girl #2: Is he Mexican?
Girl #1: No…he’s black or white or something.

–The Cutting Room, West 24th Street

Overheard by: Kate Elizabeth Queram

Guy #1: Can I have some of your alcohol?
Guy #2: Sure.
Guy #1: That's the worst Long Island Iced Tea I've ever had.
Guy #2: It's a Rum & Coke.
Guy #1: Ohhh, that's why.

–Sunnyside, Queens

Overheard by: Daniel

Tourist lady: Where’s the ladies’ room?
Waiter: Top of the stairs on the left.
Tourist lady: I was just up there. It’s not marked for ladies, so I was afraid to use it.
Waiter: It’s a unisex.
Tourist lady: Excuse me?
Waiter: It’s for everyone. Men and women.
Tourist lady: You’re all going to hell. Do you know that?

–Bar 89, Mercer St

Overheard by: Veronica at http://everythingisused.blogspot.com/

Girl #1: Why is this train going so slow?
Girl #2: …There’s probably traffic.

–7 train

Overheard by: Erica

Guy to guy friend: Did you see the Giants game last night?
Girl, interrupting: I did! I am the biggest Giants fan ever! Like, seriously.
Guy: You're wearing a Jets jersey.
Girl: Ohh, I thought it was Giants, you know, the colors sometimes get confusing.
Guy: How do you confuse red and blue with green and white?
Girl: Uhhh…

–F Train

Professor guy: What was the number one cause of death for pioneer women in the 1800s?
Chick: Beauty.

–Touro College Women’s Division, Lexington Avenue

Girl #1: Isn’t that the Princess Bride?
Girl #2: No, that’s Frankenstein.
Girl #3: That’s not Frankenstein, that’s his wife.
Girl #1: Then who’s the Princess Bride?
Girl #2: Isn’t that the one with the skeletons?

–Ray’s Pizza, St. Mark’s & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: someone who knows there were no skeletons in that one

20-something girl in full Luna Lovegood costume waiting to see Harry Potter, pointing to girl with mohawk: Jeez, their are some real weirdos in New York.
Friend, dressed as Snape: Yeah, real creeps.

–Movie Theater, Park Slope