Nobody Puts Wednesday One-Liner in the Corner!

Blonde white girl to another: And I was all like, "I'm not throwing the baby over the fence!"

–Spring St

Overheard by: Maria Emma

Girl to mother: Oh, look at daddy with the baby in one hand and the bottle of bourbon in the other. And in the morning, too!

–Williamsburg

Condom vendor: Obama and McCain election special condoms! 3 for $10 and 1 for $5, all cheaper than a baby!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Aalok

Mom with stroller to friend: She's incapacitated already, so she might as well have his baby.

–6th Ave & 4th St

Posted on August 6, 2018
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Babies, Compare/Contrast, Condoms, Drinking & Drunk People, For Sale, Friends, Girls, Health and Hygiene, Kids, Moms, One-liners, Parents, Politics, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Soho, Street, Stupidity, The Village, Time, Times Square, Vendors & Street Performers, Violence, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, White People, Williamsburg

Not the Brightest Bulb

Customer: I don’t think onions are vegetables.
Employee: You don’t think onions are vegetables? Then what are they?
Customer: I think they should be listed separately, in the onion category.

–PAX, 57th St

Overheard by: Tech Support

Posted on July 24, 2018
9 to 5-ers, Animals & Nature, Compare/Contrast, Customers, Default, Grocery Stores, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Questions, Stupidity, Vegetarian & Vegan

Wednesday One-Liner Ink

Girl to friend: She has a Shakespeare quote tattooed on her body, so she must be smart.

–Bleecker St

Overheard by: Lyssa

Middle aged dude to another: That fucken bitch, man. I wish I had her on a t-shirt instead of on my chest and back.

–Prince & Lafayette

Slightly ghetto white girl on cell: What happens when a bug bites you on your tattoo?

–D Train

Overheard by: 4-dumb

Tourist grandmother to eight-year-old granddaughter: Do, do you like mommy's new neck tattoo? (pause) Yeah, me neither.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Jas

Posted on July 22, 2018
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Books & Writing, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Families, Friends, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Insects, Insults, Kids, Old People, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Physical appearance, Questions, Soho, Street, Stupidity, Tattoos, The Village, Times Square, Tourists, Wednesday One-Liners, Wiggers, Wishes & desires

The Production of Stupidity Is Clearly in the Hands of the Workers

Teen thug #1: That shit back in the day was like common-ism.
Teen thug #2: Yo, you mean Communism, stupid ass!

–1 train, 86th St

Overheard by: Tommy Wooh

Posted on July 21, 2018
Assholes, On the Subway, Stupidity, Teens, Words

She Also Thinks Andrew Jackson Is Michael and Jermaine's Brother

Woman (reading Playbill before theater play: Oh, look Sharon*, someone's going to play one of the Marx brothers.
Friend: Which one?
Woman: Karl Marx.

–Lincoln Center

Posted on July 19, 2018
Friends, Idiots, Names, Stupidity, Theater, Theater & Dance, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Women

I’m Thinking Psych Majors

Preppy girl #1: So my mom was like, “I’m serious, stop being a retard or I’ll send you back.”
Preppy girl #2: Really? She’d send you back?
Preppy girl #1: Yeah, for being a retard. What the fuck.
Preppy girl #2: I dunno, man. What the fuck.

–Barnard college

Overheard by: Alix Griffith-Rand

Posted on July 11, 2018
Columbia (& Barnard), Nicknames & name calling, Parents, Preppies, Stupidity

Close, but No Cigar

NYU guy #1: But wait, doesn’t Fidel Castro own the Dallas Mavericks?
NYU guy #2: No, no, you’re thinking of Mark Cuban.
NYU guy #1: Oh. What a coincidence.
NYU guy #2: Um, not really.

–Waverly Pl

Posted on June 26, 2018
Comebacks, Football, Friends, Guys, Idiots, Names, Students, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Washington Square Park

I Need Some Flipflops for the Next Blizzard

Shopper: Will you have spring shoes out next week?
Saleslady: What?
Shopper: Spring shoes! Next week?
Saleslady: Spring?
Shopper: Yeah, downstairs they told me you always have the next season’s shoes out one season ahead.
Saleslady: Spring?
Shopper: Yes! Spring! Next week!

–Macy’s

Overheard by: Roxy Chanel McPink

Posted on June 22, 2018
Clerks, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Shopping, Stupidity

An Event That Can Be Enjoyed, but Not Explained

Confused Hispanic woman (feet away from tree): What is going on here?
Unenthusiastic cop: I don’t know… some big tree.

–Rockefeller Center Tree Lighting

Posted on June 21, 2018
Cops, Default, Latinos, Questions, Rockefeller Center, Stupidity, Weirdness, Women

What's That Supposed to Mean?

Obese Midwestern tourist: So are we gonna go get that falafel thing?
Other Midwestern tourist: Well, if we're gonna go to Hooters we don't need to get the falafel thing.
Obese Midwestern tourist: Why not? I could eat both.
Other Midwestern tourist: Do you know what a falafel thing is?
Obese Midwestern tourist: It's like ice cream.
Other Midwestern tourist: Oh, really? I thought that was gelato.
Obese Midwestern tourist: No, dumbass.
Other Midwestern tourist: Okay, well I guess you'd know…

–7 Train

Overheard by: Caitlin

Posted on June 18, 2018
Ethnic Food, Fat People, Food, Insults, Midwesterners, On the Subway, Questions, Stupidity