Woman #1: Hey Maria, how's your mother doing?
Woman #2: He's all right. He's recovering from his operation.
Woman #1: She had to have an operation? I thought she just sprained her ankle!
Woman #2: Oh, that? That was nothing. I'm talking about the operation he had last week.
Woman #1: He?
Woman #2: Yes.
–Coney Island
Overheard by: Sunny
Columbia student to another: When I get rich, I'm totally having the sweat glands in my armpits removed.
–Columbia University
Undergrad to friend: So I should tell you about today's existential crisis…
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Katie Naum
Guy to group of friends: Hey, you guys ever watch that video in health ed, of disabled people having sex? It was upsetting.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: L-Dubbs
Columbia undergrad: I am taking so many classes right now, like 18 credits, cause I have no clue what to do with my life. Part of me wants to go to business school here because I can make a lot of money fast, and part of me wants to go to law school here because it's more practical and will make me more over the long run. But then I am also in this class on genocide, which is a topic I love. So maybe I will do something with that instead.
–Max Cafe, 122nd & Amsterdam Ave
Overheard by: reluctantprof
Woman #1: So, she had half her lung removed.
Woman #2: Does she talk funny now?
Woman #1, confused: Why would she talk funny?
Woman #2: Don't you breathe through your lungs?
Woman #1: You are a moron.
–34th & 7th
Lady on phone: Well, I wish I could get the fat removed from my back but we can't all get what we want, can we?
–Target
10-year-old child with mother and younger siblings: I wish I could get a diaper…
–K-Mart, Astor Place
Random smoking kid: I really wish I could smoke out of my ass.
–Lincoln Center
Girl crossing the street: I really wish something would hit me…I need some money.
–Times Square
Overheard by: 3 day tourist
Girl, after receiving gift: This is…this is so great! I'm so happy! Oh, man! I…I wish you had a little penis so I could give it a rub right now!
–Barnes & Noble, Park Slope
NYU girl #1: Kate's done coke?
NYU girl #2: Yeah.
NYU girl #1: Really?
NYU girl #2: Yeah, but she hasn't done any with her new nose.
NYU girl #1: Oh.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Elena
Goth female store employee #1: It's not like I'm amputating a leg.
Goth female store employee #2: Not technically.
–Manhattan Store
Bar guy #1: Hey, how’s it going? How’s your brother?
Bar guy #2: He had brain surgery today.
–W 158th & Broadway
Overheard by: puppy
Pragmatic bouncer: Well, there weren’t enough women there, so we threw in a tranny…
–Broadway Caribou Coffee
Overheard by: jenny Lui
Man, to friend: So, he says to me "Oh, I have a sex-change operation scheduled for that day, so I can’t make it."
–46th, b/w 8th & 9th
Overheard by: christine
30-something woman with nose ring, on cell: She’s like a transvestite… And an ugly bird. She’s like a transvestite and an emu. [pause] It’s a really ugly bird.
–7th Ave
Overheard by: James from Jersey
Guy: So then I was like, suck my twat!
–21st & 6th
20-something girl: I had him as both a man and a woman.
–17th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Tater
Dude: It’s been ages since I had testicles!
–Grand Sichuan, St. Mark’s Place
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Chick: Yeh, they take one of your boobs and turn it into your penis.
Gay guy: That’s sooo weird.
–61st & Broadway
Overheard by: Wish I heard more of this one
Queer #1: Dude, I’m so broke! I never have any money!
Queer #2: That’s because you buy coke and get your face lasered!
–Vlada
Overheard by: K to tha B
