Chick on cell: It’s a long story involving a lot of urine, but the gist of it is, we can’t use that refrigerator ever again.
–Madison Square Garden ladies’ room
Chick on cell: It’s a long story involving a lot of urine, but the gist of it is, we can’t use that refrigerator ever again.
–Madison Square Garden ladies’ room
Teen girl: Where’s your section for books about hippies?
–Barnes & Noble, 82nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Joseph O’Connell
Teen guy: You owe me a buck, I didn’t complain about gettin’ no ass all day.
Teen girl: How about a blowjob instead?
Teen guy: You serious?
Teen girl: Sure…
Teen guy: I bet you wouldn’t be good anyways. It’s a whole dollar.
Teen girl: Well, you missed out…
Teen guy: How about you come to my roof sometime?
Teen girl: Man-whore.
Teen guy: You can’t call me that, I haven’t gotten any ass in months.
Teen girl: Ha, ha. I get more ass than you!
–E train
Overheard by: teenagersarefunny
Teen boy: What you readin’?
Hasidic man: It’s the Bible in Hebrew.
Teen boy: Oh…Where’d you get it?
Hasidic man: In a store that sells books in Hebrew.
–F train
Guy on cell: I don’t think it’s time yet to do the professional intervention thing. I mean if she drops down below 90, then maybe it’s time. But I’d like to her get down to 95, then she would be hot. As long as she doesn’t lose those 5 in her tits. Shit, she has nice tits.
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Old lady: No, Henry, trust me. You were never a fuck machine, and I certainly did know how to fake it.
–113th & Broadway
Overheard by: Marc Mitchell
Chick: Every time Todd talks to a girl he thinks he’s on a date.
–9th Street between 1st & 2nd
Teen boy: You know where I wanna go? The Marriott. Have you heard of it? It’s in New Jersey.
Teen girl: Oh yeah, you know where I wanna go? The Poconos.
Teen boy: What’s that?
Teen girl: I don’t know, a hotel?
–Health Opportunities High School, South Bronx
Teen girl: I would like to. Notwithstanding, I–
Old lady: Never say “notwithstanding” in New York. Too long a word for here.
Teen girl: Why the heck…?
Old lady: Notwithstanding and two financial empires have already
collapsed! Where are you from, by the way?
Teen girl: Missoula, Montana.
Old lady: You’re making my point, darling!…So, Redford says “notwithstanding”? No kidding?
Teen girl: Robert lives in Utah.
–Trump Tower elevator, 56th & 5th
Overheard by: Bertrand Latour
Tween girl #1: Aren’t you gonna wash your hands?
Tween girl #2: I don’t need to. I flush with my foot
Tween girl #1: Do you also wipe with your foot?
–Union Square Regal Cinemas ladies’ room
