Queer #1: Black people really must like taking the bus.
Queer #2: You're disgusting.
Queer #1: What? I always see them waiting in line for buses.
Queer #2: That's because they may have some financial issues.
Queer #1: Well, so do I, but I don't take the bus.
Queer #2: Only buying things that are on sale at Bergdorf's and living paycheck to paycheck are two very different things.
–14th St & 8th Ave
Girl: But also Chuck Norris.
Guy: Well, that’s a given.
Girl: I know, I just like saying his name.
Guy: Gives you a little rush?
Girl: You don’t know the half of it.
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Michelle
300-pound girl on phone: Girl, you showed your whole booty crack? I know, he's into that kinky downtown shit.
–14th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: bastardo
Loud upstate girl: I think…doin' any kinda research inta furries? You're in trouble.
–Hudson & Houston
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Hoochie: I mean, you gonna handcuff me, then handcuff me. But, you know, when I gotta go do my shit, I gotta go.
–1st St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: stephie
Curly-haired girl on cell: I've totally got a cold too! But I've also got bondage tape. And a cell phone activated vibrator.
–Ouidad salon
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Suit to another, while having lunch on bench: You put duct tape on her mouth and you do it from behind.
–Central Park
Guy at table: You know, she's a quality girl, even when I was in handcuffs, I could tell that she was a quality girl.
–Carnegie Deli
Overheard by: Spazz
Guy: He is so weird!
Girl: Yeah, he really bothers me sometimes.
Guy: I can't believe he asked to have a threesome with you.
–13th & University
Guy #1: Yo B., let’s cross here.
Guy #2: Did you just call me Babe?
Guy #1: No, niggah, I called you B.! You outta your fuckin’ mind?
–Spring & W. Broadway
30-something suit #1: Wait! So you didn't have time to fuck her?
30-something suit #2: No! I made time to fuck her, but it sucked.
–6th Ave & Waverly Place
Entrepreneur #1: We could have ice cream hands jobs.
Entrepreneur #2: Huh?
Entrepreneur #1: Yeah, two things everybody likes.
–Bleecker Street & Broadway
Queer #1: When is the Puerto Rican Day parade?
Queer #2: Omigod, today!
Queer #1: Hmm. Don’t people get gang-raped at those things?
Queer #2: Maybe, I guess? Let’s go!
–West Side Highway & Jane St
Little girl: Mommy, what are you doing?
Mother: Rubbing my eyes — they itch. What are you doing?
Little girl: I’m buttoning my finger.
–University Pl & 11th St
Overheard by: Pat Nich
Guy to friend: Yeah, Eric's an asshole, but he's like… my asshole.
–11th & Broadway
Overheard by: Z
Man on cell: I enjoy sucking the wind out of assholes.
–Brooklyn Public House
Overheard by: In fairness, the conversation was about verbal bullies
Girl: Wow, my asshole has just been all sorts of evil all day, I shat in four different bathrooms on this floor and the one up, so I wouldn't suffer alone. I shared its wrath. Is that wrong?
–Office, Midtown
Loud dude: My asshole is really fucking itchy!
–Bronx High School of Science
Overheard by: urbanadventurer
Crazy hobo: Attention everyone! You're all assholes! Stupid assholes!!
–Park Row, near Brooklyn Bridge
Overheard by: Hollister
