Guy: Wow, a head on a stick! That’s so cute.
Girl: We should soo take a picture with it.
–Museum of Natural History
Guy: Wow, a head on a stick! That’s so cute.
Girl: We should soo take a picture with it.
–Museum of Natural History
Ghetto guy: She know she got a man, but she’ll still gimme some. She know that!
–7 train
Young woman, screaming at young man: I dare you to fuck someone else again! I dare you!… You better not fuck anyone else! You better not!
–Hoyt-Schermerhorn station, Brooklyn
Queer on cell: Since when has your gaping hole decided to be faithful to your boyfriend?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Keith
Walking VD: When I first met you seven months ago I was kinda in another relationship. But now that that’s over, wanna get back in bed?
–32nd & 7th
Cop: So I’m fucking his wife for 6 years, and now he complains!
–238th & Broadway
Overheard by: Miriam
Man to wife: …and I said, “What are you: a crackhead?!”
Young daughter: What’s a crackhead, Daddy?
Man: It’s someone that slipped and cracked their head.
Strung-out hobo walks by, asking for change.
Man: See, honey. He’s a crackhead.
–E Fordham Rd & Lorillard Pl, the Bronx
Mother: See, it says these are endangered deer from China.
Tween daughter: I guess they are from China. Look at their slanty eyes!
–Bronx Zoo
Overheard by: Nina Drummond
Woman: This book I’m reading says that string theory could verify how the world began!
Guy: Hello! We know how the world began. I’ve got a book you should borrow; it’s called the Bible.
–Starbucks, Astor Place
Guy: I don’t think you need to tell him. It’s like if he was hit by a car, he’d know he was hit. He wouldn’t need someone to tell him.
Girl: Yeah, but he said it was “ironically,” so I don’t think he knows what happened yet.
Guy: What the fuck does that mean?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Videodrew
Texan mom: It says here that the French gave this statue as a gift.
Texan dad: Ain’t no way France coulda sent that. They ain’t got no boat big enough.
Texan mom: But it says here…
Texan dad: Ain’t possible means ain’t possible. Gittit?
–Liberty Island
Overheard by: Colman
Anorexic JAP: What, you couldn’t afford an entire outfit?
Obese woman in Britney Spears get-up: What, bitch, you couldn’t afford an entire meal?
Anorexic JAP: [silence]
–Uptown E train
Guy: He was like, “My girlfriend gained all this weight, and that’s why I left her,” and all of the girls were like, “Gasp! You monster!” And then he was like, “But it was, like, 95 pounds!” and all of the girls were like, “Gasp! Eww! Gross!”
–Party, 16th & 1st
Hobo: Can you spare some change for the homeless?
Drunk girl: Yeah, right. Sell that backpack first.
–4th & Broadway
Overheard by: Andrew Schulte
