Old woman #1: Where is Penn Station?
Old woman #2: What do you mean? We were just there!
Old woman #1: Yes, but where is it? I want to go to Penn Station.
Old woman #2: I don’t know where it is, and I don’t know where we are.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Sophistahippie
Banker guy: I hope you have bail money.
Bouncer guy: Fuck you.
Manager guy: What’s the problem here?
Banker guy: He shoved me.
Manager guy: I don’t know anything about that, but you didn’t bring ID.
Banker guy: I have my Dartmouth ID and my Goldman Sachs ID.
–outside Brass Monkey, Little West 12th Street
Overheard by: pb dot c
Three JHS boys pass a woman in a tight t-shirt and mini-skirt talking on her cell. One stares slack-jawed, then says to his buddies: Wow! That was the new Motorola.
–79th Street between Columbus & Amsterdam
Guy: As soon as I get my unemployment check, I’m going to buy a new TV.
–Penn Station
Woman on cell: I lost my sunglasses and I have cancer.
–34th & Madison
Overheard by: Lisa
Boy, 8: Look Mom! I think Daddy likes the Hummer more than you.
–Astoria
Overheard by: Adam Kraemer
Guy on pay phone: I haven’t decided if I prefer the smell of fresh urine or stale urine. I’ll let you know.
–Hotel Edison, West 47th Street
Guy: I told you what my goal is: to be lazy. 20 years from now, I want to be lazy.
–St. Mark’s Place between 2nd & 3rd
Girl #1: I mean you're 15 years old, you've just been raped, and then you realize you're about to have a baby.
Girl #2: Well, in that case…
–The Met
Little boy to mom: What do you mean, I’ll appreciate them one day? I’ll like bras?
Little girl: My mom’s boyfriend likes bras, and he’s only twenty-two.
–Victoria’s Secret
Overheard by: Juliette
Brunch woman #1: You let a four-year old watch Beetlejuice?
Brunch woman #2: It's not that scary.
Brunch woman #1: Let him come into your room in the middle of the night and suck your tit until he falls asleep!
–Rosewater Restaurant, Park Slope
Teen ghetto girl #1: But you’re 15! That’s 5 years. You’d be like a pedophile.
Teen ghetto girl #2: It’s not like I’m looking for a relationship. I just wanna bone.
Teen ghetto girl #1: I need to bring you to church. You need every kind of religion there is.
–1 train
Overheard by: inge
Girl #1: Jeez, that old woman just standing in the middle of the sidewalk, I wanted to push her.
Girl #2: You’re never too old to learn a lesson.
–Balthazar, Spring Street
Overheard by: zrd
Asian chick: She has, like, an Asian face on a Brazilian body.
Friend: Ew!
Asian chick: Yeah, I know. Weird. But she's only nine, so…
–Broadway & W 38th
Overheard by: English bloke
Customer: How much are money orders here?
Teller: Well, I see that you are over the age of fifty so it’ll be free for you.
Customer: Ok, so can I have a money order for $260?
Teller: Ok, so do you want to pay that in cash or withdraw from your account?
Customer: Excuse me?
Teller: How do you want to provide the funds for the money order?
Customer: I thought you said it was free.
Teller: There is no fee for the money order but you still need to provide the funds for it.
Customer: Oh, well you should have made that clear.
Teller: Wow, I’m sorry.
–Commerce Bank, Jackson Heights
Overheard by: E
