Girl #1: I mean you're 15 years old, you've just been raped, and then you realize you're about to have a baby.
Girl #2: Well, in that case…
–The Met
Girl #1: I mean you're 15 years old, you've just been raped, and then you realize you're about to have a baby.
Girl #2: Well, in that case…
–The Met
Little boy to mom: What do you mean, I’ll appreciate them one day? I’ll like bras?
Little girl: My mom’s boyfriend likes bras, and he’s only twenty-two.
–Victoria’s Secret
Overheard by: Juliette
Brunch woman #1: You let a four-year old watch Beetlejuice?
Brunch woman #2: It's not that scary.
Brunch woman #1: Let him come into your room in the middle of the night and suck your tit until he falls asleep!
–Rosewater Restaurant, Park Slope
Teen ghetto girl #1: But you’re 15! That’s 5 years. You’d be like a pedophile.
Teen ghetto girl #2: It’s not like I’m looking for a relationship. I just wanna bone.
Teen ghetto girl #1: I need to bring you to church. You need every kind of religion there is.
–1 train
Overheard by: inge
Girl #1: Jeez, that old woman just standing in the middle of the sidewalk, I wanted to push her.
Girl #2: You’re never too old to learn a lesson.
–Balthazar, Spring Street
Overheard by: zrd
Asian chick: She has, like, an Asian face on a Brazilian body.
Friend: Ew!
Asian chick: Yeah, I know. Weird. But she's only nine, so…
–Broadway & W 38th
Overheard by: English bloke
Customer: How much are money orders here?
Teller: Well, I see that you are over the age of fifty so it’ll be free for you.
Customer: Ok, so can I have a money order for $260?
Teller: Ok, so do you want to pay that in cash or withdraw from your account?
Customer: Excuse me?
Teller: How do you want to provide the funds for the money order?
Customer: I thought you said it was free.
Teller: There is no fee for the money order but you still need to provide the funds for it.
Customer: Oh, well you should have made that clear.
Teller: Wow, I’m sorry.
–Commerce Bank, Jackson Heights
Overheard by: E
Cashier woman: Put that down! Will you put that down?!
Cafeteria aid, holding an issue of The Source: Why should I? This ain’t yours! You’re, like, fifty!
Cashier woman: Shit, you don’t know me. I might be a hip-hop granny.
–Hunter College
Overheard by: steve d.
Brooklyn grandmother to another: My grandson is so different now that he's become a woman.
–4 Train
Middle aged man in binoculars on cell: Yeah! And just like that she threw me out! She kicked me out on my ass! She walked in and I was in her bra… and that was it!
–87th & Columbus Ave
Overheard by: GoneWithThe
Small black guy: Of course I'm a transvestite! Why else do you think it took you three guys to beat me up?
–W 36th St
Overheard by: Ellen
Twink to others: Sometimes you think a little boy is a child and then he turns out to be a much older woman.
–Chelsea
Overheard by: Urch
Attractive blonde: And then the… transvestite beauty queen thing happened. You know?
–Middagh & Henry
Overheard by: Matty
Female law student in interview suit: I just get along with older white guys. We click. Women, younger guys, no so much.
Fellow law student: That's because you're fertile.
–Fordham Law School
