Asians

Asian girl: I don’t know why, but I heard that all filipino people, all they eat is chicken wings.
Asian guy: What did you say?
Asian girl: Seriously, my maid, my boyfriend’s maid, my sister’s maid, all they ate was chicken wings.

–44th & 5th

Overheard by: Ahmad Zubair Sahar

Indian Girl: Oh my God! Our kids are going to be mad cute!
Asian Guy: Hell yeah! No doubt about it, with my looks and your height.
Indian Girl: Oh, and plus my body.

–Union Square

Spunky but pretty black girl: Jesus, I told you. I am married to Jesus.
Crazy Asian man, suddenly noticing a pretty white girl: What about her?
Spunky but pretty black girl: You leave her alone. She's married too.

–4 Train

Black guy: Who we going to see?
Asian guy: Andy. Not black-Andy, white-Andy.
Black guy: White-Andy? …You mean Asian-Andy?
Asian guy: Oh, yeah, Asian-Andy.

–29th & Broadway

Overheard by: Brian

White guy: Baby, do you know how much I love you? (rubs the most sensitive part of her eye)
Asian woman: (long pause)
White guy: Did you hear me?
Asian woman: Okay… You know what? I love affection, but I am not getting any younger and you're making my crow's foot worse!

–F Train

Overheard by: BJ

Asshole, pointing at a Chinese woman with Down Syndrome: Look a Mongoloid Mongolian.

–Pearl River Mart, Broadway

Overheard by: Philip

Girl on cell: Well, she wasn’t a better person before she went to rehab, just a more fun one…Yeah, I agree, it would be awesome if she relapsed. God, we are terrible people.

–28th & Madison

Chick: Hi, how much are these?
Vendor hippie: Ten, or two for 18.
Chick: Oh.
Vendor hippie: Yea, on Macdougal they sell them cheaper, but they’re made by Chinese kids who make one-fifty an hour. Capitalist bastards.
Chick: Oh. Are you going to be here tomorrow?
Vendor hippie: Well, tomorrow it’s going to rain, and then for the next fifteen days the government is paying me to take ecstasy and play on the computer while they observe me.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Emily Leonard

Old man, hitting on two Asian girls as his dog walks up to them: Are you Korean?
Asian girls: No.
Old man, about the dog: He loves Koreans.

–Mornigside Park

Overheard by: Chrissy

Asian in suit: Do you think I'm like, really serious?
Asian chick: Yeah, you're serious about pretty much everything.
Asian suit: But only when, I'm like, doing something.

–112th & Broadway

Overheard by: okay…