Woman #1: I really don’t think you’re leading him on.
Woman #2: That’s what everyone says…but they don’t know I’m grabbing his ass every day.
–Bloomingdale’s, 59th Street
Overheard by: djlindee
Woman #1: I really don’t think you’re leading him on.
Woman #2: That’s what everyone says…but they don’t know I’m grabbing his ass every day.
–Bloomingdale’s, 59th Street
Overheard by: djlindee
Man to girlfriend: You know, I was never going to tell you this, but I really dislike your mother.
–M08 Bus
20-something girl on cell: Mmm-hmm. Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry he's such a jerk. (pause) Mmm-hmm. (pause, suddenly very angrily) Well, ain't no man allowed to say your mom isn't special!
–207th St & Broadway
Slob college kid: Why would I be staring at your mom's fifty-five-year-old ass, Rachel? No, wait, my mom's fifty-five… Why would I be staring at your mom's fifty-yea-old ass?
–LIRR
Teen girl setting up voicemail on phone: Hey! This is Katy. If you're not my mother, please leave a message.
–Metro-North Rail
Nanny to little boy sticking head under her top: No, no sweetie. See, this is something I would have to tell mommy about.
–42nd St & Lexington
Overheard by: Carolyn
Man: Don't worry, when your up there shakin' your booty, ain't nobody gonna be lookin' at your stomach!
Woman: You're right.
–Borough Hall Courtyard
Overheard by: Nacona
Guy to girl with afro crossing the street: Hey gorgeous! Gorgeous! Let me massage your kinky tips!
–8th Ave & W 4th
Comedy club promoter to hot girl: Hi, do you like comedy? (girl keeps walking) Okay, do you like skinny white guys then?
–42nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Galina
Young boy reading aloud in halting monotone: I like that outfit. It would look great crumpled up on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning. You have 206 bones in your body, want one more?
–Borders, Kips Bay
Overheard by: Emily
Fat white guy in Mets jersey to hot blonde: Hello, my name is Tom and I'm horny. (blonde keeps walking)
–Lexington & 50th
Black man to female passerby: S'cuse me miss… Not to seem rude, but to be honest…for a white girl, you got a nice butt.
–5th Ave
Conductor on PA: Ladies and gentlemen, this last weekend I went to a club…never again. I walked in, sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. I saw a beautiful lady across the bar, went up to her and said, "Where have you been all my life?" She said back to me "I think for the first half of your life, I wasn't born." This is 59th, Columbus circle, have a good day, ladies and gentlemen.
–A Train
Loud girl to friend: Tell them you want fuckable hair! Fuckable hair!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
Girl to friend: You mean her boob-look hair puff?
–52nd St & 6th Ave
Ghetto woman to another: Why he be mooning everyone with that hairy ass?
–53rd & Lexington
Overheard by: tommy a
Man to friend: I'm Mexican, man; I was *born* with a mustache.
–Grand & Orchard
Girl, enunciatively: I support chest hair!
–Hell's Kitchen
Overheard by: DI
JAP: I was thinking about getting some Botox in my back so my ass doesn’t swim around so much.
–4th & Broadway
Overheard by: Will
Loud dude: Yes, I’m very sure that I have dimples in my ass.
–75th & Broadway
Overheard by: Adele G
Dude to cute chick walking away: I don’t care! I’ll put hickies on both your butt cheeks!
–DeKalb & Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: bit
Bag lady to hobo: I ain’t kiddin’. There’s a teenage mutant ninja turtle battling out of my ass.
–20th & Park Ave South
Overheard by: ninjanr
30-ish lady: Oh, god, why won’t my ass stop twitching?
–Q train, Church Ave
Overheard by: Rez
Fan to Beyoncé: Yo, Beyoncé, baby — they is childrens starvin’ in Bolivia! Why don’t you give ’em some o’ dat be-hin’?!
–Outside MTV studios
A two year old Chinese girl decided to squat on a manhole cover.
Chinese Mom: What are you doing?! That will warm up your butt and it will burst into flames!
–66th & Columbus
Overheard by: Todd Seavey
Guy #1: You know that video with the guys and the elephants with the butt sex?
Guy #2: Yeah, that must hurt. What about the one with the black guys?
Guy #1: Oh, the one with the BJs?
(later)
Guy #2: When I was younger I used to masturbate with my friend. We would put a pillow between us and jack off.
–B1 Bus
Street salesman: Come over, buy yourself a belt. If you got a big butt, buy two belts.
–Brooklyn Heights
Guy to friends: My goal in life is to get as many dicks in my ass as possible.
Random girl: Mine too!
–Canal St
