Ass

Sorostitute yelling at friend: I can see the marks on your butt from over here!

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/04/april-is-cruelest-month.html

Overheard by: yix

Hungover girl #1: I really feel like an ass.
Hungover girl #2: Why do you feel like an ass?
Hungover girl #1: Well I did throw a drink on someone.
Hungover girl #2, nodding: And got kicked out of the bar twice.

Wilmington, North Carolina

Is Swamp Ass the Next Evolutionary Step? Discuss.

Teenage boy: Are you saying your asshole gets sweaty when I'm around?
Teenage girl: Exactly.

Northgate
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: NotSoSuperMario

Dad, leading three-year-old girl to bathroom: You need to go potty? You can sit on the potty in here.
Three-year-old girl: No, that potty's not for me. That's for mommy. She has a big butt.

Alameda, California

Overheard by: lith

Crazy homeless lady to well-dressed businessman: Look at you with the coffee, you faggot, you just love dick in your ass!

Starbucks
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: trying to avoid her wrath

Long-nosed cute blond girl: So you're basically offering to fuck me in the arse?
Drunk guy: Not in the arse per se, but I can't guarantee that I won't get the wrong hole and just go for it.
Long-nosed cute blond girl: You do know we just met five minutes ago?
Drunk guy: What can I say? I work fast.

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Teen #1: I could fuck your sister.
Teen #2: Yeah? Well, I could fuck a horse.
Teen #1: No you couldn't.
Teen #2: Why not?
Teen #1: You can't just sneak up on a horse and fuck it in the ass.
Teen #2: I wouldn't sneak up on it, I'd let it know I was there.
Teen #1: You'll get kicked in the face. And you'll die.
Teen #2, quietly: Whatever, dude… Just don't fuck my sister!

New York City, New York

Guy leaving psych class: Why are we talking about bed bugs liking it up the ass?! How is that relevant?

University of Pittsburgh
Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Ellie

Girl to friend: I distinctly remember him saying “I still have the dildo up my ass.”

UCLA
Los Angeles, California

Punk girl: A lamp?
Punk guy: While it was still on.
Punk girl: Didn't that like…burn the colon?
Punk guy: Apparently it wasn't on at first. Someone decided to plug it in as a joke.
Punk girl, giggling: Oh my god…what happened with that?
Punk guy: I don't know–all I know is that it involved the hospital.

California