Suit #1: Did I tell you my sister's getting married?
Suit #2: Great! Wait, which one–the good one or the bad one?
Suit #1: The good one. I could care less about the bad one. I'm going to the engagement party this weekend.
Suit #2: Wait, what? Engagement parties are just for the girls.
–53rd St & Park Ave
Organizer #1: What about different food options for the luncheon, (thoughtful pause) what about kosher food?
Organizer #2: Good idea, but how will we be able to tell who wants to eat kosher?
University staff: We could just make black armbands with the Star of David on them. (collective gasps in the room) What?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: fdh
Punk kid #1, annoyed: Maaaan, I gotta go to a party tonight.
Punk kid #2, irritated: I just made out with a girl!
–Battery Park
Doctor #1: So when are you leaving for England?
Doctor #2: Oh, not till next week.
Doctor #1: Oh my god, then we can totally have a tea party!
–Children's Hospital
Overheard by: i want a tea party
Blonde: I love Cinco de Mayo!
Friend: Any excuse to drink is fine with me!
Blonde: Did you know that it's Mexico's Independence Day?
Friend: Doesn't everyone?
Blonde: I didn't. I just think it's so funny, because we don't even celebrate America's Independence Day.
Friend: What?
–Town Tavern
Overheard by: TJ
Little boy in blue blazer and khakis: I'm having a party. You can come.
Little girl in flower dress: (keeps skipping rope)
Little boy: You can bring your Lego people!
–25th St & Broadway
Man to little boy: I can't believe you've never played tic-tac-toe with a chicken in Chinatown.
–52nd & Lexington
Overheard by: Ed
Hipster guy: I don't know though, I can't Indian give those chickens, can I?
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: BKLover
Older black man to himself, entering train with moving box: I got a live chicken in this box! I don't know why god gave me a chicken. He knows I don't know what to do with one. (a few minutes later) I'm gonna sell her to the butcher shop and they're going to cut that motherfucker up!
–Uptown A Train
Overheard by: Mawy
Serious man, seeing dog carrying shopping bad in teeth: I am going to train a dog like that. I will train it to bring me chicken.
–73rd St & Broadway
Overheard by: EthanK
Large black dude to large black friend: Yo, man, I am so tired of chicken! I mean, yeah, I know, I'm black…but man, I ain't eating no chicken at that party man. Don't even bring no chicken by me, cause I ain't eating none. Matter of fact, I ain't eating no chicken for Black History Month. I'ma start the movement! No chicken for Black History Month!
–Downtown 2 Train
Overheard by: Kosi
Construction guy #1, in thick New York accent: Hey, Harry!
Construction guy #2: Yeah?
Construction guy #1: I'm havin' a pajama party at my house tonight, you wanna come over?
–53rd & 3rd
Girl #1: So he's like, “I saw your Facebook photos of you outside of your work uniform. You really like to party.” And I'm like, “Well, I'm 25 and single, what else do you think I like to do?”
Girl #2: Yeah, I mean really. But you know, it's assumed that if you're under 27, all you do is party and sleep around.
–Kew Gardens
Overheard by: CollegiateCutie
Teenage girl: My mom is always reminding me to lock my door because you got to worry about the bloods and the clots.
–Uptown 2 Train
Emo chick: So he goes to this party and he does it with this old guy. He pretty much went home with a bloody butthole.
–Roseland Ballroom
Overheard by: charlotte
Suit on cell: Never in my life have I seen that much blood in the trunk of a car.
–82nd & 3rd
Overheard by: Karyn
Small Asian girl to large drag queen: So then he, like, bit off his tongue and nearly bled to death. (long pause) Or maybe I was just high.
–Elevator, Brooklyn
