Stupid girl: I really like your scarf.
Other girl: Thanks! It's wool and bunny fur.
Stupid girl: Animal killer!
Other girl: No, I think they shave them.
Stupid girl: Oh.
Other girl: Yeah, and it's houndstooth, so I really like it.
Stupid girl: How many animals do you have in there?
–Elevator, 41st & 3rd
Angry man on cell: I need a friend in my life! Do you hear me?! …I don't care! I'm not leaving my wife for anyone!
–Roosevelt Ave, Flushing
Overheard by: oh, you thought my ipod was on
Girl to friend: Tomorrow I'm finally unpacking and I'm buying a new sundress to wear on Sunday when I go out to brunch with my new love interest. But he doesn't know that's the direction our friendship is headed.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: A. Pincus
Older woman with teased black hair on cell: But Frank, I don't want you to write a song about me. I want things to be as they were, friends when we were normal. Don't write me a song.
–Staten Island Ferry
Girl to friend: Well, I'm friends with him too and I didn't sleep with him.
–Shake Shack, Union Square
Girl to friend: I'm willing to let you sleep with my best friend and you still want more?
–W 31 & 6th
Overheard by: misery
Angry woman on cell: And then he told this complete stranger, "My ex-wife had lesbian lovers! My ex-wife slept with young boys!" We've been divorced for six years and he's still talking shit about me, but he says he wants to be friends?!
–2nd St & Ave A
Overheard by: voidoid
Black dude: Hey, I like your tie!
White kid: Thanks.
Black dude: Cause it's black, like my cock!
–21st St
Teen girl #1 : I'ma get fucked up tonight…
Teen girl #2 : She didn't tell you what happened last time? (points at friend ) I was fucked up by 8 pm and don't remember shit, I woke up with someone else's shirt and no panties on.
–F Train
Overheard by: Frais
Woman leaving train to suit with open fly: (inaudible)
Suit (loudly): What is “the barn door is open?” What is that supposed to mean?
–6 Train
Hip girl #1: You're just jealous because the water does what I tell it to.
Hip girl #2: Yeah, but that's only because you're huge and paddle-shaped.
Hip girl #1: Hehehehehehe…
Hip girl #2: Stop, your dirty laughter is getting all over my new jacket.
–Arlene's Grocery, Stanton St
Overheard by: sophie and gabby
Woman at ATM: Well, she could use a little piece of chocolate in a uniform.
Friend: Who couldn't?
–45th & Lex
Mother of four-year-old boy (looking at display case): Wait up for me, Jack. Don't go on the escalator without me.
Four-year-old boy: It's okay, I can do it.
Mother of four-year-old: No, Jack. Wait for me.
Four-year-old boy: It's okay, mom. I can go up by myself.
Mother of four-year-old: Jack. Don't go up without me.
Four-year-old boy: Mom. It's okay. I can do it. I'm wearing my lucky Batman underwear.
–Macy's
Girl #1: Look at that old bitch in a schoolgirl outfit.
Girl #2: Shhhiiitt, what!? She think she going to school?!
Girl #1: Yah! Slut school!
–L Train Platform
Overheard by: Maria
20-something Long Island girl: Oh god! This breakup has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. I honestly don't even care that he dumped me.
Friend: Yeah, totally.
20-something Long Island girl: Seriously, he needs to realize if it wasn't for that sweater he was wearing, and the fact that I was on ecstasy that night, we would have never dated for this long.
Friend: Yeah! It was J.Crew… And they were double stacked…you were powerless.
–Lokal Bar, Greenpoint, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Aaron
