Black girl to black guy: I saw you with that girl “hahahaing” and “hohoeeing.”
Black guy: Ha ha.
–23rd & 5th
Black girl to black guy: I saw you with that girl “hahahaing” and “hohoeeing.”
Black guy: Ha ha.
–23rd & 5th
Big guy: Yo, it’s like I was stuck between a rock and butter.
Little girlfriend: I think you mean you were stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Big guy: No, who would want to be stuck next to a huge pile of butter?
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Allison
Tourist boyfriend: What’s Avenue Q?
Tourist girlfriend: Well, in New York City there’s a place called Alphabet City, and that’s where they have Avenues A through Z.
–Dylan Prime, Tribeca
Overheard by: rebecca marie
Headline by: Jessica Bessica
Runners-Up:
· “And Spamalot Is This City in England.” – SAtCW
· “It’s Basically a Concentration Camp for Puppets” – Mikey G.
· “It’s Right Next to Some Giant Apple” – Kelsey
· “No Tourist Left Behind” – sara
· “Ok, Can You Take Your Hand Out Of My Ass Now?” – sherman
(bunch of people are buying wedding clothes)
Groom, indicating fly area: It's kind of sticking out over here.
Best man: Oh, you're not used to anything bulging in the front, right?
Groom: Well, I'm getting married, so I don't have to worry about that anymore.
Bride: Yeah, whatever. I know I'm going to stop going to the gym.
–Bridal Showroom, Flushing
Overheard by: Josh
Drunk boyfriend: Yo! Stop hittin’ me! What’s your problem?!
Drunk girlfriend: Shut up, haha. I’ll slap you if I want to.
Drunk boyfriend: Stop! Or I’m gonna rape you.
Drunk girlfriend: Ohhh, I dare you…
–A train
Husband: I can't fucking believe you fell asleep while I was making love to you.
Wife: Yeah, well maybe if your dick was bigger, I would be more inclined to stay up!
(pause)
Husband: Maybe we should get a divorce.
Wife: Why? So you can bore some hot 20-something into falling asleep on your dick?
–In line, MOMA
Headline by: Baby
Runners-Up:
· “Cathy Once Again Uses Her Overwhelming Logic to Get Out Of Divorce” – Erica
· “Isn’t That What Roofies Are For?” – KJM
· “Narcolepsy Destroys Families.” – KJM
· “She Called It His “Snooze Button”” – Taylor-Like-Woah
· “The One Conversation That Every Married Couple Has Had at Least Once” – I know I have
· “This Performance Art Piece Will Be Here All Week” – TV
Boyfriend: So you went home, drank two Smirnoff Ices, watched Harry Potter one and a half times, and masturbated twice?
Girlfriend: Yep.
–City Hall Park
Headline by: Lord Pervdevert
Runners-Up:
· “Nice.” – ImmaculatePizza
· “And That’s Why You Couldn’t Meet My Parents?” – Gerard
· “Best 13th Birthday Ever” – downtown
· “Just Another Night for JK Rowling” – Suzy
· “Rookie” – 6th Floor Blogger
· “Underage or Underloved?” – em
Man pushing stroller: Do we have a bottle?
Bitchy wife: No, we have my breasts.
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: Aaron Padwee
Headline by: Danny
Runners-Up:
· “I Can’t Beat You With Those” – Digeridude
· “I Meant for the Baby.” – thisdaydreamer
· “Shall I Preheat Them For You?” – Mike Curry
· “They’re in the Diaper Bag” – Bri
· “Well Pop a Top, Beeyotch!” – Pozo
Lady: That woman I was talking to is in two book groups.
Disinterested husband: What does that mean?
Lady: Well, she’s literate.
–Vivian Beaumont Theatre, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Seth
Girlfriend: I am going to kill myself and blame it on you.
Boyfriend: Great… I’ll sign your suicide note!
–Broadway & Lafayette
Overheard by: sneakey black guy
