Wednesday One-Liners, Approximately

Woman: Well, I still remember that 5,820 feet is a mile, 36 feet is a yard…

–Grand Central Station

Overheard by: People are wrong.

Girl, looking at guy: If I give you five dollars, will you grow a foot long?

–6 Train

Overheard by: Jeggy

5th-grader to table full of friends: Attention everyone. I have finally reached five feet!

–Cafeteria, Private School

Overheard by: Maddy

Guy on cell: Holy shit! Hello Kitty is taller than me!

–Times Square

Chubby 20-something guy, feeding chips to chubby 20-something girlfriend while making airplane and spaceship noises: The exhaust port is only two meters wide!

–1 Train

Posted on January 6, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Compare/Contrast, Couples, Friends, Girls, Grand Central, Guys, Height, Money & Class, Offers and requests, On the Subway, One-liners, Physical appearance, Pop Culture, School, Science, Students, Stupidity, Times Square, Train Station, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

…In Happier Times.

Lady screaming at boyfriend: No! You don't understand I already tried my card that way? It's not working!
Guy walking by to girlfriend: Wow, that sounds like us!

–63rd St

Posted on December 28, 2009
Compare/Contrast, Couples, Money & Class, Strangers, Street

Here's Leonardo DiCaprio to Explain

Wife: The Titanic sank for hours?!
Husband: No, the sign says the Titanic sank four hours. Over a thousand people died.
Wife: Why didn't they just get on the life boats?

–Titanic Exhibit

Posted on December 26, 2009
Couples, Death, History & Geography, Museums, Questions

Wednesday One-Liners Bring Something Unique to the Table

Guy: I hope you got a fuckin' Dixie Cup, 'cause that's what you're gonna need to hold it!

–42nd & 5th

Middle aged suit, to no one in particular: Spoon! Spoooon! Spooooon!

–Au Bon Pain, Broad St

Overheard by: Sarah Booz

Young guy with backpack to young wife: Teacup, teacup, teacup, teacup, teacup.

–Sheridan Square

Crazy hobo on subway: Hey you! Did you take my spoon? I know you took my spoon! Why would you do that to a guy?

–Uptown 3 Train

Overheard by: Scared British Tourist

Indignant yuppie: I wanted to stab her with a fork! It's a good thing we were at a sushi restaurant.

–69th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Posted on December 16, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Assholes, Couples, Crazies, Crazy, Drinks, Ethnic Food, Guys, Hobos, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Stab, Strangers, Street, Suits, Thievery, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Yuppies

Look, There's My Tooth!

Boyfriend: Hey, didn't we get in a huge fight right around here?
Girlfriend: Yes.

–7th St & 1st Ave

Posted on December 4, 2009
Couples, Nostalgia, Relationships, Union Square and East Village, Violence

Eighties: Ever Miss Me?

Girlfriend: Baby, why don't you just use an electric?
Boyfriend: Who the hell uses an electric razor on their balls, unless they want them fried?

–NYU

Overheard by: Mark

Posted on December 3, 2009
Balls, Couples, NYU, Questions, Waxing, Wishes & desires

My Favorite Way to Get to Know a Woman

Latino girlfriend: You don't even know me.
Latino boyfriend: Bitches got lots to say until the guns come out.

–Prince & Mulberry

Posted on November 26, 2009
Couples, Insults, Latinos, Soho, Stupidity, Weapons

You're Right, but for All the Wrong Reasons

Not from New York husband: Honey, we can eat over there. (points at Tavern on the Green)
Not from New York wife: Ew! No, I am not going to eat at a tavern. That's gross.

–Central Park

Posted on November 7, 2009
Central Park, Couples, Food, Tourism

…I Own You

Trashy high school girl: I'm so glad I'm finally a freshman.
High school boy #1: Why?
Trashy high school girl: Because then I can make out with all the hot jocks.
High school boy #2: Wait… You make out with me.
Trashy high school girl: Yeah, but you're my boyfriend.

–Central Park

Posted on November 3, 2009
Central Park, Couples, Frat Boys, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Parks, Questions, Relationships, School and studying, Sorority Girls

Not in the Face, Wednesday One-Liner!

Man on phone: Wait, so she bit you? Dude! Wait, what? She punched you? Oh, you went to punch her? Dude, you punched her?

–Penn Station

Too young for final stage alcoholism guy: I totally held my own. I knocked the girl out and fucked the guy up.

–10th St & Ave A

Gangster: Next time I see him, I'ma kick him in his good leg.

–Uptown F Train

Softball-player-looking girl to friends: If you ever wear a tiara at your wedding, I'm going to punch you in the face.

–Wagner Park

Overheard by: mclaire

Young mother to others: Yeah, but you hafta be careful. You can't just hit your kids in public.

–Rivington & Essex

Overheard by: verbal abuse ftw!

Boyfriend to girlfriend: But if I punch you in the throat you will stop breathing.

–SoHo

Teen girl: Did you see that? I almost punched Ira's glass in the chest! That was awesome!

–AMC Theater, 19th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Katie

Posted on October 14, 2009
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Body Parts, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Couples, Drunks, Fighting and ass kicking, Friends, Gangstas, Girls, Guys, Kick, Kids, Lower East Side, Marriage, Men, Moms, Movie Theaters, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Parks, Penn Station, Punch, Questions, S&M, Sex, Soho, Street, Teens, Threats, Violence, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Couples