Be Afraid. Be Very Wednesday One-Liner.

Guy to girlfriend: How can you be really scared for 2012 when you thought it was 2013?

–Franklin & Eastern Parkway

Seven-year-old boy on bike, turning corner into small white dog: Shoooooooooooot son, that dog just scared the black out of me!

–Nostrand Ave & Prospect Pl

Overheard by: melyssalaree

Crazy guy, after screaming unintelligibly in 20-something's face: It's cool, I'm supposed to scare people! I'm the anti-Christ!

–Ave A b/w 5th & 6th St

Girl: I'm really scared I'm gonna be a sex addict. Like, I'm hoping it won't happen, but it probably will.

–High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny

Posted on March 17, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Brooklyn, Colors, Couples, Crazies, Fast Times at New York High, Fears, Girls, Guys, Kids, Man's Best Friend, One-liners, Queens, Questions, Religion, Sex, Street, Time, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Wednesnogsday One-Liners

White male to group of friends: I thought she was really into me… Then I turned around and she was kissing Mary.

–Pace University

Girl to boyfriend kissing her hand: Are you kissing my hand or wiping your nose?

–Central Park

Young boy to friend: Wow, lesbians kissing! I've only seen that on the internet!

–Grand Central Station

Black man to two men and two women making out indiscriminately: I thought all y'alls was gay, but now y'alls kissin' each other. I don't know what to think.

–Splash Bar

Posted on March 3, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Black People, Body Parts, Boys, Central Park, College, Couples, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Grand Central, Guys, Internet, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, One-liners, Parks, Questions, Sexuality, Strangers, Train Station, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, White People

And No Pants

Man to girlfriend: You should be a model for Playboy hoodie edition.
Girlfriend: Really?
Man: Yeah, you look good in hoodies.

–6th Ave & 11th St

Posted on February 27, 2010
Beauty, Clothing, Compliments, Couples, Jobs & Careers, Physical appearance, Pop Culture, The Village

Bed, Bath, and Wednesday One-Liner

Hipstress to another: At least now if you find a baby on your doorstep, you'll have a dresser drawer to put it in.

–Pete's Candy Store, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Mat Freimuth

Gamer on headset, freaking out: Oh my god, why would you move the couch!? Why the hell did you move it, idiot!? When you move a couch, bad things happen! Move the couch… You stupid… Oh my god. Wanna know why we all died after moving the couch? Because we moved the damn couch!

–Glendale

Middle-aged woman backing away from pink, cushioned chair for sale: Only $199? I wonder what it would be like to fuck on that chair!

–Hamilton Heights

Angry wife: No, it's fine, at least I finally know how you truly feel about throw pillows.

–65th St & Broadway

Posted on February 24, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Babies, Brooklyn, Couples, Death, For Sale, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hipsters, Home, Sweet Home, Insults, Magic, Money & Class, One-liners, Queens, Questions, Sex, Shopping, Store, Street, Stupidity, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Not to Mention the Lousy Blowjobs.

60-something balding man: I think quitting teaching is the best thing I've ever done.
Wife: Oh, yeah. Good, honey!
60-something balding man: I mean, I fucking hate kids.

–15th St & 1st Ave

Posted on February 23, 2010
Compare/Contrast, Couples, Education, Gripes, Jobs & Careers, Kids, Union Square and East Village

…Hold Me!

30-something girlfriend: Will you calm down?
30-something boyfriend: I drank red wine!

–Lafayette & Prince

Overheard by: Jon A.

Posted on February 22, 2010
Couples, Drinking & Drunk People, Questions, Soho

In a City Full Of Good Samaritans, Rachel Always Finds an Asshole to Date

Crowd to girl who just fell down in deep puddle: Are you okay?
Girl, getting up and going toward boyfriend: Yes, yes, I'm fine! I'm fine!
Boyfriend: Get away from me!

–Broadway

Posted on February 14, 2010
Couples, Health and Hygiene, Relationships, Strangers, Street, Weirdness

His Parents Had to Walk Into a Bar

Boyfriend: So you heard 'bout the Russian guy, the Jewish one? He's both, ya know. Russian and Jewish.
Girlfriend: Yeah, I know. Jewish is a religion.
Boyfriend: Yeah.

–B61 Bus

Posted on February 9, 2010
Bus, Couples, Foreigners, Judaism, On the Bus

Better Prepare for Your Troll Years, Sally

Boyfriend: 30 years from now I'm gonna slap the shit out of you.
Girlfriend: Why? 'cause I'll be 51?
Boyfriend: Yes. You'll be ugly!

–Grand Central Terminal

Posted on February 8, 2010
Age/Aging, Beauty, Couples, Grand Central, Physical appearance, Time, Train Station, Violence

…Transvestite

(couple enters elevator, making out and groping each other as they enter)
Meathead boyfriend to semi-attractive girlfriend: Are they going to make me sign out and then sign in when we get back?
Semi-attractive girlfriend: I'm not sure, I think probably.
Meathead boyfriend: Well, if it helps keep you safe…
Semi-attractive girlfriend: Speaking of safe, I think I have another stalker. But this time, he's 6'3″, 230 pounds, and a fireman.

–Columbia Dorm

Overheard by: Z

Posted on January 7, 2010
Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Couples, Diet/Weight, Elevators, Height, Jobs & Careers, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Meatheads

Couples