Gay husband #1: That dog gets all the attention.
Gay husband #2: Not when I'm walking it!
–Union Square
Gay husband #1: That dog gets all the attention.
Gay husband #2: Not when I'm walking it!
–Union Square
Dumb girl, slinging leg over goat statue in MoMA courtyard: Take a picture of me riding this goat!
Dumb boyfriend: Honey, you're sitting on a Picasso.
Security guard: You don't need to be smart to go the MoMA.
–Museum of Modern Art
Cosmetology teacher: We do not do sterilization in this class. That is what they do in a medical lavatory.
–Cosmetology Class, Astoria
Overheard by: Kelsey
Fat black teen shoving past white couple: I like how they ain't know how a say "excuse me."
–Wilson ave, Bushwick
Xerox repairman on cell: Yo, you sound like John Lecoozigamo! He's a comedian. Le-cooz-I-ga-mo.
–132nd St & Cypress
Overheard by: office drone
Middle-aged mother with thick Staten Island accent on cell: Ronny, where are you?! We are standing outside and we are freezing the children!
–New York City Transit Museum, Brooklyn
Indignant thug to thugette: I told her we wasn't together. How did she know I'm with you? Did you tell her differentwise?
–Q20 Bus
Overheard by: Liza
Girl to boyfriend, after taking deep breath: Can you smell that? It's like the ghost of meats past!
–10th Ave, Meatpacking District
Suit: Turkey-bacon? How did you guys get them in one meat?
–Grand Central Place
Young lady to another: And then we were all treated to sausages…
–E. Houston & Bowery
Overheard by: Luke McPartlin
Five-year-old boy to bewildered mother: We're gonna go work for a giant meatball!
–86th St & Lexington
Distraught-looking white woman to boyfriend: I just wish I'd gotten the more expensive steak. (boyfriend nods sympathetically)
–Upper East Side
Asian girlfriend, yelling: Get out of my store! You always make customers angry!
Asian boyfriend, yelling back: You are the professor of psycho!
–Bodega, Upper West Side
Old couple to couple seated at a two-person table: Mind if we sit here? (old woman slides into the booth next to the seated woman, old man places tray on table)
Seated couple: Uh… No… (they stand up and leave)
–Cafeteria, The Met
Overheard by: Uncomfortable
Fat girl: With my connections, I could be a lawyer or executive or some nonsense like that.
Fat boyfriend: So why don't you?
Fat girl: Cuz I hate shoveling that political BS.
Fat boyfriend: So you just keep on being a janitor?
Fat girl: Maid.
–M7 Bus
Punk teenager to girlfriend, watching ambulance pass: See, those people are good, they save lives.
Punk girlfriend: Yeah, yours. How many times now?
Punk boyfriend, offended: That's not funny.
–McKibbon Sreet, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Rachel
Girl to friend: I mean, if he was rich I would pretend to like him; but he's not, so…
–46th & 3rd
Guy on street to couple: Baby girl, you're just embarrassing yourself. Don't do it. You know you're just with him for his money cuz everyone knows white men ain't got no dick.
–5th & 32nd
Ghetto young man: That is why I'm gonna marry a rich white woman. My daughter needs a good life; my sugar mama can pay for her to go to a private school. I'm a playa, but I gotta marry a rich white woman for my baby girl.
–A Train
20-something guy to friends: So this chick I like says "let's wait until you start making money til we start dating." So I said to her "what makes you think I want to date you once I start making money?"
–St Mark's
