Drunk NYU queer: Do you live in Rubin?
NYU girl: Yes.
Drunk NYU queer: On the 14th floor?
NYU girl: No, on the 11th floor.
Drunk NYU queer: The guy I’ve been dating is the RA on the 14th floor. Do you live on the 14th floor?
NYU girl: No, I live on the 11th floor, honey.
Drunk NYU queer: The guy I’ve been dating is the RA on the 14th floor. He is. His name is Dan. We ate apples together.
–A train
Overheard by: Leslie G.
Friend: So how was your date?
Woman: Oh my gosh it was amazing!! The best I ever had! It was cosmic!
Friend: On the first date? Wow!
Woman: I know! It was the best veal Parmesan I have ever had!
–5th Ave
Girl: We can’t have sex until we get married.
Guy: Sex is a form of marriage.
Girl: But we’re not ready to get married.
Guy: Your mom.
–St. Marks & 3rd
Overheard by: spoons
Teen boy: No, really, she scares me.
Teen girl: Is that why you tell people you are gay?
Teen boy: What? No!
Teen girl: Are you gay?
Teen boy: I just don’t want to have a girlfriend.
Teen girl: What if she only wanted to have sex?
Teen boy: I am a good person. I have morals.
Teen girl: What if she had bigger boobs?
–R train
Young woman on elevator to friend: I have a date this Thursday with a guy I met on match.com, and I was so excited, but then I remembered Thursday is Grey's Anatomy! I mean, I'm DVRing it, but that's so not the same.
–Wall St.
Overheard by: krazyhippie
Large 40-something woman: But I'm not gonna be on Maury sayin', "I'm 100% sure!" Because I'm not!
–10th St & FDR
20-something woman on cell: It's white, sleeveless…well, you don't watch Gossip Girl but it's totally Blair-worthy.
–W 19th & 5th Ave
Appalled girl to friend: So, I guess he just couldn't hold it in and needed to share with everyone around him, so he just shouted out "Fuck! I miss Gossip Girl!"
–Mercer & W 3rd
Saucy Latina: Telemundo makes BET look like The History Channel.
–171st St & Broadway
Overheard by: The Low Hat
Guy to friend: My girlfriend is cool if you and your boys are…she loves the BBC when she's high.
–PATH Station
Overheard by: smjcnj
30-something woman on cell: Remember season one of The Hills? What a simpler time.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: The Evil Triangle
Girl #1: Was he a virgin?
Girl #2: Yeah, I think so.
Girl #1: I bet. He totally needed a new haircut.
–Uptown Lounge, 3rd Avenue
Teen #1: That's nasty, dude, she had strep throat last week. If you made out with her, you're totally gonna get strep throat.
Teen #2: Oh, fuck…can somebody get strep dick?
–N Train
Overheard by: -bill
Anorexic JAP on cell: …No money, so I stopped dating him.
Hobo: Whore.
Anorexic JAP, to hobo: Excuse me?
Hobo: Nice thighs — have another doughnut.
–East Village
Good looking brunette: Yeah, then we talked about physics.
Intrigued girl pal: Oh, really? Why?
Good looking brunette: Not sure, but I remember it turned me on.
Intrigued girl pal: Oh…
(awkward silence)
Hot guy pal: (nods head)
Good looking brunette: What? I really like physics! Its the math… I really like math.
–Park Ave
Overheard by: angela
Guy: He paid for all that and you didn’t even fuck him at the end of the night?
Girl: Nada.
Guy: It must be fantastic having a vagina.
Girl: Sometimes it really is.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Mark Blaise Fallon
