Guy: You're back on the poverty diet?
Girl: Well, I've had four lattes…
Guy: You're totally on the poverty diet.
–Cafe Esperanto
Guy: You're back on the poverty diet?
Girl: Well, I've had four lattes…
Guy: You're totally on the poverty diet.
–Cafe Esperanto
Guy: Awww, man, did you hear? Billy's in the hospital!
Girl: Oh no! What happened?
Guy: He only ate bananas and pop for like two weeks straight.
Girl: Shit, that sucks. Poor Billy!
–Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Asian girl: But see, pretty people don’t look for people who are gorgeous. If you’re good looking, you don’t need to look for someone cute. You don’t need to look for more of that.
Hispanic girl: Mm-hmm.
Asian girl: You know, you look for a complement to you in a relationship.
Hispanic girl: So which one of us is the ugly one?
–14th & 3rd
Hefty chick #1: Well, I didn’t want to fight her, but she called me a fat bitch.
Hefty chick #2: Oh, lawd!
Hefty chick #1: So I backed up on her and dropped her with my elbow.
–41st St. & 7th Ave.
30-something lady: I officially started Weight Watchers today.
30-something guy: So does that mean you can't drink this weekend?
30-something lady: I can drink. I just can't eat all day.
–Port Authority
Professor: Fat people are often funny.
–Baruch College
Girl to friend: When she OD'ed on him, it was so funny!
–Riverdale
Overheard by: Caitlin
Ditzy-looking middle aged woman on cell: The funniest thing today with the kids! They slammed me to the door and one of them bit my arm and I drew blood! (pauses) Yeah, I know, I'm going back tomorrow!
–F Train
Girl: So, like my friend thought it would be funny to jump in a pool that didn't have water in it.
–8th St & Broadway
Brooklyn artist: After four or five organic vodka tonics, all the ironic hairstyles in the bar start to actually be funny.
–Williamsburg
Girl #1: How's your diet going?
Girl #2: Really good. I've been working out like crazy and I haven't had any water like all day.
Girl #1: Good for you. Water's like soooooooooo heavy.
–Butler Library, Columbia University
Overheard by: branbran
Dude #1: I think she's cute.
Dude #2: You have serious problems.
Dude #1: Really?
Dude #2: Like, you should be going to meetings or something.
Dude #1 (laughing): There are a lot of things I should be going to meetings for.
Dude #2: True story!
Dude #1: But seriously, I think she's kinda cute.
Dude #2: She needs to lose about 30 pounds.
Dude #1: I told her 20.
Dude #2: Okay. We'll reevaluate after 20.
–MetroNorth, Harlem Line
Overheard by: rpk
Dancer girl: I dunno, I mean, like, I wish they made a size like, triple zero, so I would have something to look forward to, y’know?
–Central Park
Man: Yeah, that’s how you gain weight: a backed-up colon. I cleaned mine out this weekend.
–B54 Bus
Overheard by: Alma Molato
Old woman, very loudly, in the middle of the movie: Boy, is she skinny!
–Movie theater, 86th Street b/w 2nd & 3rd
Overheard by: The New York Crank
Girl on cell: If bitch can’t afford to buy her own groceries, she can just get skinny!
–Green Village Used Clothing, Bushwick
Anorexic fashionista: Any self-respecting anorexic knows that!
–Lincoln Center, 62nd & 9th
Man on cell: You went to a party last night? Well, that means you have to do three hours tomorrow. And I want you to drink lots of water, but none of that crystal light crap. That is seven calories that you do not need.
–Blockbuster, Broadway
Queer #1: So where’s Jeff been?
Queer #2: Oh, he isn’t going here anymore. He said he can’t deal with the gay drama and being cruised all the time. He wants to work out around people who are more serious about working out and getting bigger. You know, people who are just more focused on bodybuilding and not chatting and gossiping. So he switched to Equinox.
Queer #1: What is he talking about? There’s no drama here; it’s not even that gay. It’s not 8th avenue!
Queer #2: I think he’s just really commited to his bodybuilding and wants to completely focus on it with no distractions.
Queer #1: I think he needs to lay off the creatine.
–14th Street NYSC
