Drunk guy: Did I puke on you?
Drunk girl (holding half-full pitcher and cup): You might have puked on me, but I peed and spilled beer on myself to rinse it off.
–N Train
Overheard by: Abbey C
Drunk guy: Did I puke on you?
Drunk girl (holding half-full pitcher and cup): You might have puked on me, but I peed and spilled beer on myself to rinse it off.
–N Train
Overheard by: Abbey C
Guy to security guard: We're not fucking tourists, man, we're just trying to get back to our home in Jersey.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Metrosexual guy: There are two kinds of people I will never, ever, date. One are people who are culturally ignorant. The second is people from New Jersey.
–45th & 5th
Overheard by: Mr. Pink
Proper British woman to loud drunk guy: Go back to Jersey!
–BB King Concert, Christ United Church
Overheard by: bb
Uptight 40-something white guy: I can't wait to get safely back in New Jersey!
–A Train
Overheard by: JoshBob
Drunk Long Island girl #1: I am so wasted and I haven’t even thrown up yet!
Drunk Long Island girl #2: It’s like, we’re drunk and we’re from Long Island. We should be all… proper and shit.
–29th & 7th
Overheard by: 100% not drunk
65-year-old lady, in bikini top and Daisy Duke shorts, with belly hanging over: Of course I am bisexual…can't you see the view?"
–49th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: NATE MATHIS
Girl to guy: You can't be bisexual and married, John. That's, like, illegal!
–50th b/w 8th & 9th
Australian chic at bar: It's weird though, he reminds me so much of my ex-girlfriend.
–Mexican Restaruant, Lower East Side
Loud girl on cell: No, I did him, it was so good. (pause) Yeah, I fucked her too, she loved it.
–Hillside & Edgerton
Drunk lesbian: Why can't you be a girl or at least have a really big dick?
–Bowery Ballroom
Drunk girl: People thought I looked good?
Guy: Yeah!
Drunk girl: How do you know?
Guy: Because they gave you money and licked stuff off your breasts.
–140th & Broadway
Overheard by: Logan
Grad student: It’s like Hogwarts. Witches go to Hogwarts. They don’t go to Harvard Witch Management.
–Think Coffee, Mercer & W 4th
Overheard by: this analogy makes no sense
German dude to other German dude, in rapid German: Voldemort! And Dumbledore!
–96th & Broadway
Overheard by: LeLeLe
Teen girl: He said that Dumbledore takes it up the ass. Seriously.
–1 train
Overheard by: Silverhawk
High school thug girl: Yo dead ass, Harry Potter is hot.
–Houston & Green
Overheard by: chedr
Perverted tween: I wonder how many old women are into Dumbledore. They must be like "oooooohh! Dumbledooooooore!"
–D train
Overheard by: tanechka
Drunk 20-something woman on cell: I’ve fallen off the Voldemort wagon!
–Port Authority
Overheard by: McFreaky
Girl: I can’t, like, believe I’m in this, like, fucking crazy, weird AA subculture!
–25th and 3rd
Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Drunk chick: I had a boyfriend once. He wanted to stick a hot iron up my ass.
Sober guy: Well did he do it?
Drunk chick: I’m standing here, aren’t I?
–Tasti D-lite, 4th Avenue
Drunk 20-ish chick to friends: I’m starving! I should cook something when I get home.
Thug: Don’t lie! You gonna go home, check yo’ MySpace and pass out!
–Astoria-bound N train
Overheard by: He has a point
Drunk white girl, walking past Staples: Ohmigod! I remember last summer when a guy spit on me at staples!
Drunk white boy: What? A Staples?
Drunk white girl: Yes, it was that Staples!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Kiara
