Girl: Oh my god! That’s my high school photography teacher!
–Gay Pride Parade, 23rd & 5th
Girl: Oh my god! That’s my high school photography teacher!
–Gay Pride Parade, 23rd & 5th
Black guy: I can not believe mah baby girl just graduated from high school! Come on, honey, I’ll let you pick where we gonna go fo’ dinner: Denny’s or White Castle?
–Yonkers High School
Overheard by: Snow White
Ghetto girl graduate: Ya’ll wanna go to Red Lobstah or what?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Kaitlyn
Intern suit: So how do I get that pre-freshman to give me a handjob?
Girl: Do you realize that you’re graduating from college soon, and you’re asking me this?
–60th & Lex
Overheard by: grossed out
College applicant: I want to learn how to shoot a gun.
Admissions rep: Okay, well, we don’t do that here — it’s a Criminal Justice college degree.
College applicant: But they told me I need to learn to shoot a gun.
Admissions rep: Who’s they?
College applicant: The aliens. You know, them.
Admissions rep: I see. Well, maybe you should go to the CIA.
–30th Pl & Thomson Ave, Long Island City
Chick: My drama teacher said that she looked like she had been fed with a shovel as a child…He was my favorite teacher.
–1 train
Overheard by: Sidra Greene
Hipster girl: She was all, “Yeah, Betsy is my best friend,” and I was like, “Best friend? That is so fucking bourgeois.”
–L train
Girl: I know you made it. Look at you. You got a BlackBerry. Yeah, you made it. You got that good-smelling leather.
–Elevator, 12th & 5th
Overheard by: Thirsty Violet
Professor lady: Yes, we’ll be going into debt a lot as the semester goes on.
–Parsons School of Design
Overheard by: Ray
Teen boy: Anyone on this train wanna buy some candy? It’s not for a basketball team or something, it’s for me so I can buy more candy.
–2 train
Overheard by: Sarah
Intercom: Please take a headset before you get on the plane, because they’re free now. They’re actually free once you get on the plane, but I charge $50 labor for bringing them to you once you’re on. So it’s in your best interests to take one now. Can you tell I’m a happy person?
–LaGuardia
Chick: I’m not even gonna try applying for a Gap card; they’ll never give it to me. I don’t know what it is about Gap; they always know if you have bad credit.
–The Gap, 34th & Broadway
Overheard by: Dianora
Tween boy: What do you mean, I can’t get anything? I’m the one with a job.
–Key Food, Park Slope
Overheard by: Shack
Girl: Do you ever think about us? Like, how many more of us there are than of you?
Professor guy: Of course. That’s why I always pack heat.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Jeff
Professor guy: Remember, next week’s exam will cover all the material from the past three weeks.
Chick: Uh, ‘scuse me? When are we going to get to the Zodiac signs?
Professor guy: Um, you do know this is astronomy and not astrology, right?
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Hello Clairice
Chick #1: Rosie is the queen of snot rockets.
Chick #2: Can you teach me?
Rosie: Do you have snot?
–Rodrigue’s Coffeehouse, Fordham University
Overheard by: Jess McGins
