Sad, sober friend: I just really miss her, I guess.
Drunk friend: There’s no color the sky can’t be at any given time. Remember that!
–E 11th & 2nd
Sad, sober friend: I just really miss her, I guess.
Drunk friend: There’s no color the sky can’t be at any given time. Remember that!
–E 11th & 2nd
Girl: We just came here and talked about each other’s families. He has a brother with a gambling problem.
Guy: Alright! The good stuff!
Girl: Yeah, his brother used to be a trappist, but now he has a serious gambling problem.
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Kira
Girl #1, into phone: No, we’re in Brooklyn. Yeah, Spot Collins’s territory.
Girl #2: I cannot believe you just made a Newsies reference.
Girl #1: Bitch, please — you do it all the time.
–17th & 4th, Brooklyn
Overheard by: me too
Girl #1: So, we left the bar in a taxi and I had to go to the bathroom real bad.
Girl #2: What did you do?
Girl #1: There was an envelope in the cab, so I used it. Yes that was the time I pooped in an envelope in a taxi!
–2nd Ave Bus
Cute Asian girl: I feel like I'm in high school again, except the person I'm dating is female and a really good kisser, and the guy I'm plotting to seduce is my professor. What's wrong with my life?
Friend: I think you need to either learn to live without penis, or realize that kissing men isn't scary.
Cute Asian girl: Kissing women is scary too! But I happen to really enjoy kissing Christina.
Friend: Okay, so if you want to do your professor so badly, don't you think he might be a good kisser too?
Cute Asian girl: There are so many things you can do with a guy that don't involve kissing…
Friend: Again… Get over penis or start kissing men!
Cute Asian girl: It isn't that simple!
–Uptown 2 Train
Girl to friend: You have to stop setting your brother on fire.
–Broadway
Overheard by: sandm
Student to professor: Urinating on fire? What the hell, Freud?
–Wagner College, Staten Island
Tool on cell: If burning leaves in the schoolyard is wrong, I don’t wanna be right!
–E 44th St & 2nd Ave
Blond woman: And that was the night I burned my eyebrows off!
–Union Square
Some guy: I spent all of last night searching my body for it, but I promise you if I find it, I’ll burn it.
–The Village
Older woman at art gallery, looking at the price list: That burns my ass. Sorry, but that burns my ass.
–57th St
Girl to friend: So last night I hit myself in the eye with my broom while baking lasagna, drunk.
–Blarney Stone Pub
Suit on cell: Oh man, you should definitely ice and elevate that shit.
–AMC Lowes, 68th & Broadway
Overheard by: Jessica Segal
Man in wheelchair to woman pushing him: Remember when I hit that stroller head on and the kid passed out?
–33rd b/w 7th & 8th
Conductor on speaker: Please bring the first aid kit to car three, please bring the first aid kit to car three, a passenger has a bite.
–Train Leaving Penn Station
Teen to friend: And that’s how I got my penis stuck in a pencil sharpener.
–Stuyvesant High School
Bearish guy: Did I tell you I got a lead in a film?
Friend: No. Congratulations!
Bearish guy: Yeah, it's a bear film–but it's not a porn!
–23rd & 8th
Overheard by: Daniel
Girl on cell: It's 111 Columbus. No, Columbus as in the guy who discovered the world.
–Houston & Broadway
Guy to group: Napoleon is the funniest guy ever!
–Fordham University, Bronx
Overheard by: Krisztina
Hipster: Europe is cool, you know, because the towns are like soil samples when you look at them. You can pull the historical soil sample and see the layers of crustaceans and stuff.
–Party, Park Slope
20-something girl to friends: Mix tapes are like a little piece of history.
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Jo King
Male professor: Remember for your papers, John Brown was hanged, not hung. He might have been hung too but that is a different topic.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Go Rams!
Guy on cell, screaming : Did you or did you not give that guy a blowjob in the parking lot?
–3rd Ave & 10th St
Overheard by: JC
Hot girl talking to hot friend: He said blowjobs are like flowers for guys. Do I get flowers everyday? No! So why should he, right?
–C Train
Screaming bag lady: He asked me to suck his dick. I don't suck dick, I'm homeless.
–125th St
Overheard by: Reilly
Guy on cell: How's her gag reflex? Because that's a great way to make up for stupid.
–5th & 83rd
Overheard by: Kelly
Guy to another: Greg, do you want your cock sucked tonight? Then get in the car! (other guy hastily gets in car)
–The Village
