Guy: Yeah, his nickname is ‘SpongeBob,’ because he looks just like him.
Girl: Oh?
Guy: Yeah, his head is really square, and he’s got this buzz cut…
Girl: Is he full of holes?
Guy: Well, sort of — he’s got eczema.
–Delancey & Orchard St
Guy: Yeah, his nickname is ‘SpongeBob,’ because he looks just like him.
Girl: Oh?
Guy: Yeah, his head is really square, and he’s got this buzz cut…
Girl: Is he full of holes?
Guy: Well, sort of — he’s got eczema.
–Delancey & Orchard St
Elderly man with eyes bulging: They fried up the Pope in a side of vinegar!
Girl: Yeah, they do that sometimes.
–Henry St & Pineapple Walk
Chick #1, unable to find seats: Well, this is too bad.
Chick #2: Yeah, there should be hangover seats.
–Manhattan-bound N train, Queens
Girl #1: I don’t know what I’m going to do next year. I really want to study abroad.
Girl #2: Yeah, I’m going to this gallery in Queens next week.
–NYU elevator
Overheard by: Alex Pareene
Girl to another, loudly: Oh my god! Where the fuck were you this morning? I was about to text you, but I realized you couldn't text. And I couldn't text either! And you wouldn't pick up your phone! And I needed to talk to you! But I couldn't reach you! So I just like fucking sat there and screamed for ten minutes!
–B9 Bus
20-something male to friend: I am so MIA right now. I am MIA. Like, I text you, but I am MIA. Like, so many people send texts to me, and I'm just MIA.
–Downtown 6 Train
Overheard by: dallas
Girl leaving movie: Well, I'm sure she'll send out a mass text the second she has her baby.
–AMC Theater 19th & Broadway
Overheard by: Julie
20-something to another: Tiffany, I know I left Jason at the altar…but why didn't he text me back?
–1849 Bar, MacDougal & Bleecker
Laughing hobo to another: That is the funniest joke I've ever heard! You have to text that to me!
–St. Mark's Church, 2nd Ave & 9th St
Overheard by: cody
Ugly skinny girl: I swear to god, if you compare us to The Golden Girls one more time, we're not friends anymore.
Cute fat girl: Okay, fine. (pause) God you can be such a Dorothy sometimes.
–54th & 5th
Boy: How naked are we getting at this party?
Girl: Honey, I don't even need tequila to take my clothes off.
–Student Musical, Columbia
Security guard: You’ll have to sit up, there’s no slouching allowed on these chairs.
Girl: What?
Security guard: If you don’t stop slouching you’ll have to leave.
–Time Warner Center, 3rd floor
Overheard by: Suzanne Cunningham
Five-year-old boy: I Superman! I Superman.
Six-year-old girl: Who cares!
Five-year-old boy: I Superman! I Superman!
–Flatbush & Atlantic, Brooklyn
Rushed girl to friend: Oh, it's 10:58, just going to make it. PS, Wendy, your hair looks great running!
–Elevator, 55th & 3rd
Overheard by: James Allen
