Cute girl #1: You opened her mail?!
Cute girl #2: No… Jesse opened it. He thought it was one of those stupid dentist card things they send in the mail.
Cute girl #1: At least you'll have a conversation starter next time you talk to her.
Cute girl #2: Oh, yeah. What am I suppose to say? “So, your pap/cervix test was positive?”?
–Bay Ridge
Hipster girl: So afterwards he was like, “Hold up. Can I just stop in quickly and buy a vibrating cock ring?”
Hipster friend: He did that to me too!
–7th & Greenwich
Overheard by: sounds like a good time
Hipster girl: When I was sixteen I dated this Jewish bisexual guy… He was so Jewish he wore a yarmulke.
Hipster guy: Did you blog about it?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Fixed Rider
Girl: I'm really bad at observing people.
Friend: I love Sleeping Beauty.
Girl: I can't write about art if it's, like, asked by my teachers. That's what I hate about this class. Last semester I had to reckon with a Louise Bourgeois essay… All her penises. Are you guys ready to go?
–Cooper-Hewitt, National Design Museum
Overheard by: Alex Bailey
Girl: Gross. It smells like nasty pussy here.
Guy: How do you know what that smells like?
Girl: Uh… well, it’s what I imagine it would smell like.
–7th & A
Black guy, yelling out of his car at cute girl crossing the street: Hey! You look like yo' white boyfriend call you fat, but mama, that alllllll good!
Cute girl: I have never felt so offended and so complimented at once. (deadpan) This must be love.
–Grand Army Plaza
Overheard by: aenigma
Girl #1: So, now I’m going to need a new roommate, I think.
Girl #2: Wait… Let me get this straight — you walk in, she’s on the bed, nude, rolling around on a bunch of pearls?
Girl #1: Yeah. Our jewelry had just arrived from ShangBy, and I guess she got excited… Want a pearl necklace?
–58th & 5th
CEO on phone: Fuck you! Just get me the things I need to make money.
–12th & Broadway
Overheard by: Jeremy
Older man wearing yarmulke, screaming into cell: Hi! I think I left a check for $19,000 in the armoire, can you check if its there? (pause) Oh, good! I was so worried! I will deposit it tomorrow! (pause) Yeah! I'm going over the bridge! (pause) Okay? I gotta go! Bye!
–Q Train
Frustrated girl on cell: I've only got a metro card and $20! I can't take the bus!
–85th & Columbus
Overheard by: Jesse D
Female student: My dad didn't pay two $200,000 for me to be a bartender.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Greg
Singing hobo: I work hard for the money, I work hard for the money, so you better work hard for me!
–W 4th St
Overheard by: DRC
Bursar office attendant: All we do is take yo money.
–Pratt Institute
Crackhead: Excuse me, miss, but you don’t look so good. Are you okay?
Hot, drunk chick vomiting in a trashcan: I’m supposed to be asking you that!
–66th St, Lincoln Center station
Girl #1: Oh my God. I just got back from Amsterdam, and they have, like, the worst gum there.
Girl #2: Really?
Girl #1: Seriously. When we landed, I couldn’t wait to buy Orbitz. I have a serious gum addiction.
–Irving Plaza
Overheard by: Lauren
