Guy: You can get it at Duane Reade.
Girl: What's that?
Guy: Duane Reade?
Girl: Yeah.
–Varick & Spring
White guy: This Chinese woman at the restaurant kept staring at me, all angry looking, and staring at my chopsticks, like I was doing something wrong with them. Like, some etiquette thing or something. I know you’re not supposed to, like, stick the chopsticks into rice.
Asian chick: Oh, yeah, you never do that.
White guy: I know! But I looked down, no rice, no nothing, I was done with my food, they were just sitting on the plate. I think maybe she was trying to get me to think I was doing something wrong so that, you know, I’d get all self-conscious.
–6 train
Guy: Dude, you're pregnant.
Girl: I know…sucks, right?
–Greenwich Village
Guy: They’re George Strait jeans.
Girl: I love George Strait. He’s a hottie.
Guy: He only gives his name to the best.
Girl: Didn’t he give his name to that tractor place?
Guy: It must have been the best tractor.
–NYU Law commons area, W. 3rd St.
Overheard by: Micah Prude
20-something woman to friend: Man, can I just tell you how absolutely bizarre coffee shop conversations are in this area?! I am never ever getting married if this is the sort of stuff married women talk about all day.
–Smith & Bergan
Overheard by: Mako Shark
30-something to older woman: I can’t get married yet! I haven’t experienced even… half of the women in the world yet!
–86th & Broadway
Overheard by: Carol
Tween boy getting into the face of another tween boy: (loudly) I’ll be your fucking wife!
–Morgan’s Market
Overheard by: Akiko
Little boy: We saw a peanut marrying a princess!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: blue
Girl to friends: I think my husband’s gonna divorce me now that gay marriage is legal.
–N10th & Bedford Ave, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Non Hipster
Woman in a wedding dress and veil, on cell: Yeah, I got kicked out.
–Penn Station
Girl #1: Oh my God, look at that lady.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Titty drip!
Girl #2: Oh my God. Go home and milk yourself.
–19th & 5th
Pretty 20-something girl: I might reconsider if there is a horse involved.
–Manhattan Beach
Overheard by: The Tutors
Girl to friend: Look at sociology. Look at the animals. That totally explains it. It is just like the animals, sociology explains everything.
–West 4th & Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Darci
Woman to man: Because I'd really like to understand what makes a good toreador and what makes a bad toreador.
–70th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Lisa B.
Girl who was just handed an anti-bird-porn flyer: I have never even seen birds mating. Now I am intrigued.
–Hair Rush Line Central Park
Overheard by: Krysta
Pet store clerk to customer: I don't know what flavor it is. It's turtle food. It's what they eat.
–Flushing Petland Discount
Park janitor to pigeons: I need all's you guys to be flappin' yo' wings and help me be cleanin' up these leaves. (pigeons coo, janitor starts cooing with them)
–Clinton & Congress, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Was a good impression
Guy on cell: Yeah, it’s weird, it feels like I’m still alive.
–W 8th & Broadway
Guy: I still think surprise necrophilia is weird.
–Robert Louis Stevenson School
Overheard by: Lucas
Man to woman companion: I hate single people. They’re all weird.
–90th b/w 2nd & 3rd
Man on cell: February is a weird month for Jews.
–9th St. and 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Hannah
Trader Joe’s employee to another: No, I would not call her weird. It takes a lot for me to call somebody else weird because I am not the most normal person on the planet myself. Meow!
–Trader Joe’s, Union Square
Overheard by: Ingwall
Observant girl: Just because you get weird haircuts doesn’t mean you’re smart.
–Bowery & Rivington
Chick #1: My underwear’s so cute! It’s got a bulldog on it.
Chick #2: Why’s it got a bulldog on it?
Chick #1: It’s so cute, it’s protecting my vagina from intruders.
–Loews Lincoln Square ladies’ room, West 68th Street
Overheard by: emily
Crazy man dressed like a King: Everyone, I just bought the sun! So if you don't mind, I'd like a hundred dollars an hour if you're using my sunlight.
–Sheep Meadow, Central Park
MTA track worker to another: Why does everybody wanna die tonight, Eric? Is there a full moon or something?
–49th St Station
Overheard by: Jon A.
Man talking to himself on imaginary cellphone: There will never be peace until the planet explodes. Then there will be peace. (pause) Yes, I took my medication today.
–R Train
Overheard by: Matt Giella
Guy in line for a play: I don't take my sunglasses off because the sun never sets on a badass
–41st & 7th
Overheard by: clara
Teen thug to another: He said he likes sunsets. Who says he likes sunsets?
–Macon & Marcy, Brooklyn
Overheard by: g
Co-ed: And Galileo's like, "Saturn has rings!" And Kepler's like, "Oh my god, really?" And Galileo's like, "Ya, really!"
–1 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
