Black guy, yelling out of his car at cute girl crossing the street: Hey! You look like yo' white boyfriend call you fat, but mama, that alllllll good!
Cute girl: I have never felt so offended and so complimented at once. (deadpan) This must be love.
–Grand Army Plaza
Overheard by: aenigma
Girl #1: So, now I’m going to need a new roommate, I think.
Girl #2: Wait… Let me get this straight — you walk in, she’s on the bed, nude, rolling around on a bunch of pearls?
Girl #1: Yeah. Our jewelry had just arrived from ShangBy, and I guess she got excited… Want a pearl necklace?
–58th & 5th
CEO on phone: Fuck you! Just get me the things I need to make money.
–12th & Broadway
Overheard by: Jeremy
Older man wearing yarmulke, screaming into cell: Hi! I think I left a check for $19,000 in the armoire, can you check if its there? (pause) Oh, good! I was so worried! I will deposit it tomorrow! (pause) Yeah! I'm going over the bridge! (pause) Okay? I gotta go! Bye!
–Q Train
Frustrated girl on cell: I've only got a metro card and $20! I can't take the bus!
–85th & Columbus
Overheard by: Jesse D
Female student: My dad didn't pay two $200,000 for me to be a bartender.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Greg
Singing hobo: I work hard for the money, I work hard for the money, so you better work hard for me!
–W 4th St
Overheard by: DRC
Bursar office attendant: All we do is take yo money.
–Pratt Institute
Crackhead: Excuse me, miss, but you don’t look so good. Are you okay?
Hot, drunk chick vomiting in a trashcan: I’m supposed to be asking you that!
–66th St, Lincoln Center station
Girl #1: Oh my God. I just got back from Amsterdam, and they have, like, the worst gum there.
Girl #2: Really?
Girl #1: Seriously. When we landed, I couldn’t wait to buy Orbitz. I have a serious gum addiction.
–Irving Plaza
Overheard by: Lauren
Chick: Excuse me, are the trains running? Because there's one just sitting there…
Station clerk: Nah, they runnin', they runnin'! He just chillin' a little!
–215th Street 1 Station
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Girl #1: I don’t feel well.
Girl #2: You look fine.
Girl #1: I think I have malaria.
Girl #2: I really don’t think you do.
Girl #1: Do people get malaria in Nicaragua?
Girl #2: I don’t know, I don’t care, and furthermore, we were in Brazil.
–JFK
Thug: Lookin’ fine, snowflake.
Blonde: Wait… Did that guy just call me a snowflake? That’s good, right?
Friend: I feel a new screen name coming on…
–Bleecker & Sullivan
Chick: Okay, so let me get this straight — you left a top secret threesome at 4:30 in the morning, only to take home a guy you then met on the subway platform who you kicked out of your bed two hours later because your girlfriend was coming home in half an hour?
Guy: Uh, yeah, that’s about right.
Chick: Sweet dancing Moses.
–23rd St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: still trying to figure out the logistics…
Girl: Does your tan go away quicker when it’s cold out?
Guy #1: Yeah, it’s like why water turns white when it freezes.
Guy #2: You two are both idiots!
–58th & 3rd
Overheard by: Jester
