Mom pushing stroller: May I have some of your croissant?
Little girl in stroller: Yeah, but not daddy.
Mom: Oh, you don't want daddy to have any of your croissant?
Little girl: Yeah.
Mom: You want to control who gets to eat your croissant?
Little girl: Yeah.
Mom: You want control of your croissant?
Little girl: …yeah.
Mom: You want croissant power?
Little girl: (silence)
Mom: You want to be Captain croissant?
Little girl: (silence)
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Commodore Croissant
Annoyingly hipster girl: So there’s a fetish party tonight, do you want to go? It’s five bucks.
Annoyingly hipster guy: Oh, I don’t know.
Annoyingly hipster girl: Come on. It will be better than last time, I promise.
–Whole Foods, Houston St
Mommy: … But we’re going to have to do something about it, sweetie.
Six-year-old girl, arms crossed, looking away: I don’t want to talk about it anymore, Mommy.
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Stephanie
Guy to girl, seeing large group of black guys ahead: Uh…let's cross the street.
Girl: You're afraid!
Guy: No, it's just that if they wanted to give us trouble, I don't know if I could hold them off while you ran.
Girl: You're cute.
–123rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Playing it safe.
Blonde #1: I met Kelly in Portland.
Blonde #2: Which Portland?
Blonde #1: What are you talking about?
Blonde #2: Well there are two: one on the east coast, one on the west coast.
(long silence)
Blonde #1: You know, it’s not funny to lie all the time like that.
–Houston St
Guy: But weed gives you cancer.
Girl: No. Cigarettes be givin' you cancer. Weed makes you be high.
–42nd St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: kimmykins
Big girl: You're sweet.
Cute girl: No I'm not, I'm full of piss and vinegar.
–Metro-North Rail
Drunk hobo to punk chick: Hey, where you goin sexy?
Punk chick: Fuck off.
Drunk hobo: I'm gonna fuckin marry you, you just watch, I'm gonna fuckin marry you!
–St Mark's & 2nd Ave
Young daughter: Mom, is this salmon raw?
Mom: Yes, honey, most sushi is made of raw fish.
Young daughter: Can I eat my goldfish raw?
–Shiro restaurant, Glendale, Queens
Girl #1 to friend: You're definitely my number one.
Girl #2: Uh yeah, you're in my top five.
–49th St & 5th Ave
