Wednesday One-Liners Go Animal Crackers

Burly father to daughter, passing grizzly bears: I have no compassion for stuffed animals.

–Bronx Zoo

Overheard by: Tarah

Guy to friend: I'm totally going to try to hook up with a dolphin when I'm in Cozumel.

–St. Mark's & 3rd

Girl: I would love to have sex with a cheetah!

–Bronx High School of Science

Overheard by: urbanadventurer

Girl carrying reindeer head on bicycle rickshaw: It's not a moose head, it's a reindeer!

–4th Ave & 3rd St

Woman on cell: So are you still dating the tortoise man? (pause) So is this a good or bad thing?

–Bergen & Court

Overheard by: Staying away from the herpetarium

Posted on February 10, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Beastiality, Body Parts, Bronx Science, Dads, Dating, Friends, Girls, Guys, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Kids, On Cell, One-liners, Parks, Questions, Stupidity, The Bronx, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

She's Hoping He'll Become Her Ventriloquist Dummy

Boy on cell on platform: So yeah, I'll be there soon…I'm at the… um… The um… The… what do you call it? I'm waiting for the umm, and I'm at the… (sighs) What do you call it?
Girl next to him, whispering loudly: Traaaaiiinnn statiiionnnnn!
Girl next to her, yelling: Platform, train station, waiting for a train!
(Boy walks away still on phone)

–Metro-North Rail

Overheard by: Gabriela

Posted on February 9, 2010
Boys, Girls, On Cell, Public Transportation, Questions, Stupidity, Trains Not Subway, Words

Bait Like This Calls for a Bigger Fish

Comedy club guy: Are you ready to be dazzled by comedy?
Cute girl: Do I look like a fucking tourist to you?
Comedy club guy: Well, are you ready for a boyfriend then?
Cute girl: Maybe if you looked better.

–42nd St & Broadway

Posted on February 7, 2010
Beauty, Comebacks, Girls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, Physical appearance, Theater & Dance, Tourism, Vendors & Street Performers

The iTouch App We've All Been Waiting for

Blonde #1: I just got my boobs done!
Blonde #2: Oh, wow! They're so cute!
Blonde #1: They don't look too big or rock hard, do they? They hurt so much, I feel like a damn porn star!
Blonde #2: No, they look awesome!
Blonde #1: Wanna feel them?
Blonde #2: (squeezes friend's boobs)

–Apple Store, 14th St

Overheard by: Susie

Posted on February 7, 2010
Beauty, Boob Job, Compliments, Girls, Health and Hygiene, Height, Porn, Rack, Store, The Village, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Why Do Billionaires Do Anything?

Vally girl #1: I looove ellen Egenerous, she is soooooo funny.
Vally girl #2: Yeah!
Vally girl #1: I hate Dr Phil, he is soooo mean, but I looooove Opera, I mean love her. Why did she copyright her name? I mean, why?

–A Train

Overheard by: Chris DeLuca

Posted on February 7, 2010
About Celebrities, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Gripes, Names, On the Subway

New York Has Many Visitors from Intersecting Alternate Realities

Girl #1: I don't get it, but like… Are there two suns?
Girl #2: Pardon?
Girl #1: I dunno. But the sun here is so much hotter than where I'm from.
Girl #2: Oh my god. Shhh!

–5th Ave & 22nd St

Overheard by: Sunny

Posted on February 5, 2010
Astronomy, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Stupidity, Weather

Where Did the Money Go? Discuss.

Blonde: Look, that guy in the gray sweater is the only one working here.
Brunette: I know! It's terrible.
Blonde: I wish the government would come by and look at this, and see all these people waiting. We should call them.
Brunette: Do you think they care?
Blonde: No.

–Social Security Office, 2nd Ave

Posted on February 5, 2010
Clothing, Girls, Gripes, Jobs & Careers, Office, Wishes & desires

I'll Take “Great 21st Century Lies” for $200, Alex

Girl: I'm not going to pretend that things are fine when they are not. You don't have feelings for me.
Guy: Don't say I don't have feelings. I have feelings for you, they are just in a different category.

–59th St & Lexington

Posted on February 5, 2010
Compare/Contrast, Girls, Guys, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Relationships

Try Me Next Week When My Manic Cycle Kicks in

Greenpeace guy: Hey, sign this petition!
Girl in black: No, thanks.
Greenpeace guy: It's to save the Earth!
Girl in black: Fuck the Earth.
Greenpeace guy: But what about the children?
Girl in black: Fuck the children.

–7th Ave & 25th

Overheard by: NSC

Posted on February 4, 2010
Activists, Animals & Nature, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Girls, Insults, Kids

Nobody Molests Me Disrespectfully

Drunk girl to group of friends: And then he slapped my ass, and I was like, “I need to walk away.”
Drunk girl's friend: Why?
Drunk girl: I mean, it was fine for him to play with the fuzzy things on my nipples, but I draw the line at an ass grab.

–E 9th St & Ave A

Overheard by: sternie

Posted on February 4, 2010
Alphabet City, Ass, Drunks, Friends, Girls, Kink, Nipples, S&M, Violence

Girls