Suburbanite: Excuse me, officer, how do I get to Grand Central?
Bored transit cop: You see that S train over there? Take it 2 stops.
Suburbanite: Thank you!
–Subway Tunnel, Grand Central
Suburbanite: Excuse me, officer, how do I get to Grand Central?
Bored transit cop: You see that S train over there? Take it 2 stops.
Suburbanite: Thank you!
–Subway Tunnel, Grand Central
Drunk guy, matter-of-factly: Everyone comes in here and thinks they're smelling pot, when really they're just smelling Italians.
–Hammerstein Ballroom Men's Room
Young girl on cell: Well, I mean, I have eaten macaroni. Does that count as Italian?
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Kayla Monetta
Man on cell: And this guy smelled like shit! (pause) Yeah, I told him, "you smell like Italian."
–E 10th & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: molina1230
Loud bridesmaid at Guido wedding: I'm Sicilian from the waist up, American from the waist down.
–Brooklyn Botanic Garden
College guy to friend: From the minute they got here, they started eating. Italian feasts are pornography. Italian food is illicit sex to the puritans. Everything the puritans eat is bland and brown.
–Brooklyn College
Middle-aged, pot-bellied guy with a long pony-tail, stopping young woman on the street: Excuse me, but I just want to say, once you've had Italian food, you're not hungry for anything else. I just ate a calzone and now I'm going to go home and just go to sleep!
–8th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Not hungry either
Rookie commuter: I don't understand, all these people are standing at the doors, but nobody is leaving the train.
Experienced commuter: Umm, that's because were still moving. They tend to discourage that. Even if you know how to tuck and roll…
–Metro North, Grand Central Terminal
Bible-thumping lady: Get your Bible! We only have approximately five years left!
Passerby: Five years! Fuck! I gotta get movin’!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Adam Bertocci
Guy #1: It was like a faucet! It just kept running!
Guy #2: I really don't want to hear about this…
–Grand Central
Elderly woman yelling at man looking at map: Where you going? What color is your train? Is it yellow or orange? This train is green. You should get on a red train. (singing) Red, orange, yellow, green, blue. Oh, and brown. Can't forget that. Just don't go to Brooklyn. No. No. No-o-o-o. Not there.
–4 Train
Overheard by: Sunny
Girl on phone: My friend said that's probably why I don't like Brooklyn–because I have the night of the living dead outside my window…
–Amsterdam & 112th
Upper East Side man: If you really want to rough it, go to Brooklyn.
–84th & 2nd
Little girl shouting: Everyone in this entire building is going to Brooklyn!
–Grand Central
Woman : Why didn't you kiss me?
Man: Cause you said you were going to punch me!
–Grand Central
Conductor (in stern voice): For the last time, people, when the lights are blinking, that does not mean continue walking on the platform! The train will leave without you!
Suit: She must have children.
–Metro North, Grand Central
Overheard by: Fresca
Intern #1: Yeah, so they finally let me go watch bankruptcy court yesterday.
Intern #2: What was it like?
Intern #1: Everyone was black except me. It kind of felt like when I ride the subway at night.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: James
Woman preaching: Jesus loves you!
Obviously Jewish girl: Well, supposedly we killed him, so I don’t think so.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: G
