Girl #1: I woke up the next morning and felt awful. There’s a word for it — ‘trench-mouth,’ I think it is.
Girl #2: Gross.
Girl #1: Yeah, and then he started to call me. I think he liked me… And I was like, ‘Ew, I hate you.’
–Kudo Beans, 1st & 3rd
Overheard by: Ken
Guy, looking at historic buildings: This is the kind of thing they should have taught us in school.
Girl: Yeah, there's a lot of things that schools didn't teach us.
Guy: I think a bug just flew into my nose.
Girl: What?
Guy: It's squirming around in there. It's really uncomfortable. I don't know what to do about it.
–Governor's Island
Overheard by: Kevin
Chick on cell: I hope you fucking die! Die! … Well, not like now… but someday… like, when you’re eighty.. Okay, eighty-four.
–NYU
Overheard by: Kelly
Student: … And I was all, ‘Dude, don’t touch my side of the cadaver!’
–Albert Einstein College of Medicine
Overheard by: BuddyblueJD
15-year-old: Look! They’re dying because they suck!
—The Bucket List showing, AMC Empire 25
20-ish chick: After I died, I hardly did anything.
–45th & 3rd
Overheard by: mkr
Blonde to gal pals, on Heath Ledger: It just made me realize how real death is when even a celebrity can die!
–25th & 1st
Man to girlfriend: You know, I was never going to tell you this, but I really dislike your mother.
–M08 Bus
20-something girl on cell: Mmm-hmm. Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry he's such a jerk. (pause) Mmm-hmm. (pause, suddenly very angrily) Well, ain't no man allowed to say your mom isn't special!
–207th St & Broadway
Slob college kid: Why would I be staring at your mom's fifty-five-year-old ass, Rachel? No, wait, my mom's fifty-five… Why would I be staring at your mom's fifty-yea-old ass?
–LIRR
Teen girl setting up voicemail on phone: Hey! This is Katy. If you're not my mother, please leave a message.
–Metro-North Rail
Nanny to little boy sticking head under her top: No, no sweetie. See, this is something I would have to tell mommy about.
–42nd St & Lexington
Overheard by: Carolyn
Little girl: Do you like girls?
Little boy: No.
Little girl: Do you like boys?
Little boy: No.
Little girl: Do you like me?
Little boy: No.
Little girl: Do you like cats?
Little boy: No.
Little girl: Do you like girls?
–Wilson & Troutman, Bushwick
Guy: I don’t know — I think she intellectualizes everything, and she uses big vocabulary words, but that doesn’t make her smart, you know?
Girl: Yeah, totally.
–W 4th & Morton
Overheard by: Duncan
White man to another: Before he shows up, you should probably know this guy’s a top 100 digger.
Black man: What’d you call me?!
White man: Uh, I just said… We’re nerds. It means we’re nerds.
–Starbucks, Astor Pl
Man introducing lady friend to pal: This is Lucille, my ex-wife… She’s my second cousin… She was also my second wife.
–136th St, Harlem
Middle-aged woman: I have such a bad memory! I know, I know. I know. There are times I go to my daughter, ‘How do I spell my name?’
–D train
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Loud woman on cell: She’s evil! Don’t you know she killed mama? That’s the family secret!
–Q83 bus
Overheard by: It’s Jady, BiTChesss!!
Guy talking on cell: I completely understand that she was pissed off, but I mean, come on! She did hit her sister in the head with an iron!
–11th Ave
Lady: So, I bought my niece a gift. I don’t know why… She’s such an ungrateful little bitch.
–Grand Central
Man on cell: … So she said, ‘There’s no easy way to tell you this, so I’m just gonna say it… You have a four-year-old son.’
–26th & Park
Overheard by: Nick
NYU girl #1: I am so fucking sick of the Jews for Jesus everywhere.
NYU girl #2: Yeah, I know, it’s really annoying.
NYU girl #1: It’s not annoying; it’s fucking insulting! What, do I look Jewish to them? I mean, seriously, I don’t, do I? You’d tell me if I looked Jewish, right?
–Washington Sq Park
Overheard by: Emily
Nerd watching fireworks: I’m not really into the cerebral fireworks movement.
–The Great Lawn
