Hipster to man pressing napkin against Annie Leibovitz picture to write down a number: What are you doing?! You can’t do that!
Russian man: Is okay — it happens.
–Brooklyn Museum
Overheard by: I swear, I didn’t know him!
Hipster to man pressing napkin against Annie Leibovitz picture to write down a number: What are you doing?! You can’t do that!
Russian man: Is okay — it happens.
–Brooklyn Museum
Overheard by: I swear, I didn’t know him!
Dad: You ask too many questions!
Five-year-old son: What time is it?
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Aili
Headline by: Babakganoosh
Runners-Up:
· “Followed By, “Why Is the World Upsidedown? Why Is the Ground Rushing Up at Me So Fast? Where Is All My Blood Going?”” – Falling 80 stories sucks
· “If You’re Gonna Catch a Beating, You May As Well Earn It.” – Xvi
· “It’s Time To Play “Justified Child Abuse”!” – Patrick
· “Preamble to the Slaughter” – Paul Tabachneck
· “Yeah, Well, Wait ’til I Get to the Hard Ones, Like, Is It Okay to Masturbate?” – Chris
Woman in large fur coat: What the fuck is wrong with you? Seriously! All you do is fucking bitch!
Man in leather coat: Oh, go to hell, Addy.
Woman: You fucking asshole. Do you need a fucking tampon? You want a tampon?! [Searches through purse, finds tampon, and flings it at him.] Here you fucking go!
Man catches passerby staring: What the fuck are you looking at?!
–Chinatown
Overheard by: LizBeth
Teen girl #1: I think Johnny Depp is so super hot! With all his dirty, disgusting hair in Pirates… Mmmm, so hot.
Teen girl #2: I don’t get it. I seem to be the only person who doesn’t find him cute.
Teen girl #1, very serious: I’ve never met anybody quite like you.
–R train
Overheard by: Jen
Chick #1: God, we look so wasted, baked…
Chick #2: Your face is sooo red.
Chick #3: It kind of matches your eyes, though — like you’re blushing a lot.
–Restroom, Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: tanechka
Queer teen #1: Yo, when I went to Yellowstone, I took this pic of a buffalo from behind, so you can see the balls hangin’ down and everything! It’s awesome!
Queer teen #2: What? That’s the single worst thing I ever heard! You sick, man. Damn.
Queer teen #1: What the fuck are you talkin’ ’bout? It’s the best pic ever! I made it my desktop! Buffalo balls are cool!
–Garfield & 7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: Mike N
Dad: The invitation says five-thirty, but it probably won’t start until six.
Little girl: Six? I don’t understand — why do they make everyone rush to get here, and then we just have to wait?
—Miss Potter premiere, DGA Theater, 57th & 6th
Girl yelling to friend across street: Hey, guess what? I smelled it! I smelled it from here!
–Fordham University
Blonde on cell: So, I just took my hair down, and all I smelled was Dove and crack.
–JFK
Overheard by: spanky
Man to no one: It smells like my ex-wife in here!
–Highline Ballroom
Hootchie on cell: No joke — it smelled ripe down there. I be all, ‘Jimmy… D-A-M-N! I’m too busy gagging from the smell to gag on your bits.’
–W Broadway
Girl crying on cell to boyfriend: How could you fuck her?! Her pussy stinks!
–Union Square
Overheard by: SplendidConfusion
Thug on cell: Yo, I’m sure she smells better now, bro!
–Harlem Meer, Central Park
Overheard by: mj
Conductor: Are you going to work? Are you going somewhere? Let us know by getting out of train doors.
–R train, Lexington Ave stop
Bartender swinging nipple tassels: Can you believe they wouldn’t let me do this at my old job?!
–Bar, Broadway, between 76th & 77th
Overheard by: Lezbotron
IT guy: I can break whatever I want, because I fix it!
–Office, 45th & 3rd
Overheard by: beans
I-banker to two others: He got the bonus for people that don’t get bonuses.
–Metro-North
Comedy club flyer guy: I hate my job, and it’s all your fault!
–Times Square
30-something hippie at show: 2008 is the year that I get a job.
–New Year’s Eve concert
Overheard by: Smash
Thug dad to toddler after bumping stroller down stairs: I call that there ride ‘The Earthquake.’ You like that? … Well, see, you’re too young to appreciate the magnitude of what just happened.
–A train
Overheard by: Stephie
Ghetto mom to seven-year-old kid: You don’t know how to hustle! You ain’t no hustler, she ain’t no hustler… No hustlin’.
–137th & Broadway
Overheard by: should she be saying that to a 7 year old?
Mom to eight-year-old daughter: This is not about apostrophes! This is about verbal agreement!
–F train at Broadway-Lafayette
Mom to son climbing on ferry railing: You wanna jump? I’ll throw you. Then I ain’t gotta buy you no Power Ranger.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: autumn
Mother to three-year-old trailing behind: Stay close, baby, you know how ferry men like to take little boys.
–Whitehall Staten Island Ferry Terminal
Overheard by: Ryn
Mom: Boy, don’t you listen? I swear, I will tear your ass up on this bus in front of everyone if you don’t behave. [Kid ignores her, and mom pulls out cell.] Fine, I’ll call Santa on yo’ misbehavin’ ass.
–BX 21 bus
Woman holding child’s hand: You’re my daughter, right? Okay, good.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Nervous
