Girl: I don't date much.
Guy: Why not?
Girl: Umm… No reason.
Guy: Are you a lesbian?
Girl: No!
Guy, pointing to a girl walking by: Would you date her?
Girl, thinking it over: I actually might.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Andrew
Girl: I don't date much.
Guy: Why not?
Girl: Umm… No reason.
Guy: Are you a lesbian?
Girl: No!
Guy, pointing to a girl walking by: Would you date her?
Girl, thinking it over: I actually might.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Andrew
Guy with British accent: I can't believe she blew me off again! It's not even like she had Jay-Z tickets!
Girl with British accent: No, she was just getting drunk with an Irishman!
–8th Street & Broadway
Overheard by: amalthya
Guy: You should be more like me.
Girl: Believe me, out of the five people in life I would like to emulate, you are not one of them.
Guy: Is that because I knocked you up?
Girl: Yeah, actually. That did bump you down a significant amount of notches.
–Downtown A Train
Guy on cell: It's not like I take my ear wax, put it on my penis, and use it as lube.
–Queens
Overheard by: Jess
Friends on stoop: Bro, did you see that ass? I would lick the fart out that ass!
–19th & 6th
Middle-aged yuppie, about club in Las Vegas: And I said "here's our check, and if another pubic hair falls in our drink, you're in trouble!"
–Times Square
Overheard by: Scott
Boy in car to mom: Hey mom, what about anal leakage?
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Brenna
Guy to friend: She said she was stressed out studying for finals, I didn't realize that meant she hadn't been showering. As soon as I got there we started "hitting it". It was too late when I realized how dirty she was. Dude, I literally licked a layer of crust off her.
–3rd St b/w Ave A & B
Overheard by: saffrosun
Guy on cell: We get a little crazy wearing real pants. If we go to the store or something, we'll find ourselves bickering because we're wearing real pants.
–Washington Square Park
Traffic cop, motioning people to move quicker to clear the intersection: C'mon, people! They're real cars, they hit real hard!
–Broadway & Houston
Incredulous 30-something to tourist parents, during intermission of The Lion King: Well, I'm just really disappointed. I thought there were going to be real lions.
–Minskoff Theater
Overheard by: Not at the Circus
Lady in glasses on cell: Being naked is being real.
–West Broadway & Thomas St
Overheard by: Alex S.
30-something suit on cell: We live in an infinite universe. That means there are infinite possibilities. You are insignificant compared to the size of the universe. You mean absolutely fuck-all nothing, so get off your high horse and do what you're told.
–40th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Megan
Guy on cell: Dude, so how much more time do you have in Russia before you go into space?
–Ave A & 8th St
Overheard by: Daniella
Guy on cell: The subways are like the planets. Generally they're in their orbit, but you never know. (pause) Really? C'mon, Mars!
–Uptown C Train
Overheard by: furf
Three-year-old boy to adult family friend: I love you to outter space! Outter space goes upupupupup!
–West Village
Crazy man straddling bike: Goddamn! I can't believe I missed the last rocket ship to the moon! (in high-pitch voice) It's okay, man! There's another one in five minutes!
(back in normal voice) Okay, man, that's cool. Roger that.
–1st Ave & 1 St
Sales associate: They worked with NASA scientists. This is what the moon actually smells like.
–Home Fragrance Department, Bergdorf Goodman
Overheard by: Heather H.
Guy #1: I'm not afraid to tell people that I voted for Obama cuz he's black.
Guy #2: I voted for him cuz he's cool.
Guy #1: My reason is way cooler!
–Washington Square Park
Guy: Why didn't you just leave?
Woman: I wanted to wait for you, idiot.
Guy: But I said you could just go.
Woman: Whatever, dick. This is exactly why I didn't want to go.
Guy: This is why I asked you. Why do you always have to be like this?
Woman: Why did you fucking ask me if you knew I wouldn't want to go?
Guy: Because you're my wife, and that's my family. I just always thought that I could bring my wife to a family party.
Random passenger: Are you two really married? Is that really your wife?
Guy: Yes.
–LIRR, Penn Station
Girl, watching bulldog sprawled on sidewalk: Oh my god, I thought that was his head!
Guy: What, his butt?
–Fort Greene, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Morning Glory
Girl to friend: If it weren't for my sister's dog, I wouldn't have to drink during the day.
–Greenpoint
Overheard by: Kevin
Gay dude to another: It's so amazing how dogs get all up in there. Like, what if people had to introduce themselves that way? How great would it be if when I met you I had to sniff your ass?
–17th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: BT
Girl on cell: So wait, did Dr Siegel really charge you 150 dollars to chop a pimple off the dog's booty?
–Hart & Irving, Brooklyn
Girl to guy: Ever spend a lot of time with a Shih Tzu?
–MacDougal & 3rd St
Female voice outside my window: And I'm keeping the dog leg–I don't even care what you have to say!
–113th St b/w Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
