Guys

Young barista to another, peeling a banana: You like your women like you like your bananas.

–Bedford Ave

Man outside fry place: They don't sell watermelon here. I read the menu three times, and no watermelon.

–Pomme Frites, 2nd Ave

Dude on cell: Banana. Banana banana banana banana. Banana.

–Flatbush Avenue, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Sarah Booz

30-something suit to another: If I'm hungry I'll eat a banana, but I can't eat more than one. Because bananas, like, annoy me.

–Metro-North Harlem Line

Employee: All natural mango juice, on sale for 66… no, 69 cents off the regular price.
(customer walks away, uninterested) Where do you think you're going?

–Whole Foods

Overheard by: Sac

Guy to friend: you should come by tomorrow, I'm having a house party, there's going to be weed and meth.
Friend: You shouldn't do meth, it's messed up.
Guy: Yeah, but it's Thanksgiving.

–Bar None, The Village

Overheard by: Seth

Girl: There's police over there! It must be a crime scene!
Guy: Gang violence is so boring these days…

–Madison Square

Guido to another: She actually shaves between sex and shit.

–Bay Ridge, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Belladonna Wexhome

Middle-aged Guido: Nobody gives tricks any more, only treats. I remember when I was a kid. I used to get shaving cream in my face.

–78th St & West End

Overheard by: jess_stang

Guy coming out of Beeswax screening: I will not bow to the hegemony of the razor.

–BAM Cinemafest

Girl to friend and boyfriend: I definitely prefer a female gynecologist to a male one. Mine is a really old woman, and she's great! She just says to me, "I am shaving you." My lips are really big!

–E 7th St

Overheard by: Evan

Guy #1: Are you sure you want to do this?
Guy #2: Yes.
Guy #1, very seriously: Okay. But it will have to be quick, painful and emotionless.

–35th St

Overheard by: Killingyourhamster?

Guy to girl with short skirt in freezing cold: Girl, you gonna catch your death.
Girl with short skirt: I'm in LA, bitch!

–Carmine & Bedford

Overheard by: MikeRoss

Guy #1, looking at woman in a magazine: Yo, this girl is the shit, yo.
Guy #2, agreeing: Yeah, like with the corn in it, man.

–D Line

Guy: Did you just tell your mom to jam out with her clam out?
Girl: My mom is fuckin awesome, she does keg stands and shit.

–Metro North Rail

Overheard by: John

Little girl: Daddy! I'm so excited to see the rats!

–Metro-North Rail

20-something guy to friends: He couldn't drink because he was on antibiotics. He got a rat disease from a lab rat that bit him.

–Lincoln Center

Guy to girlfriend: I step on dead rats all the time!

–Mercer St

Overheard by: Julie

20-something girl on cell: The mouse was fed to the snake the night before, so when I saw it the next morning, I freaked.

–R Train

Cop: We had a guy down here eating a rat. I said, "You're a gentleman in society." He put the rat in his mouth.

–South Ferry Subway

Girl: No way! How do you know?
Guy: Because my roommate heard them having sex! Apparently, he screams like a girl.

–Union Square

Overheard by: MASHI