Blonde: So what is this drink anyway?
Creepy guy: A roofie-coolada. (sinister snicker)
Blonde: Oh. Okay! (laughs)
–Virgil's, W 44th St
Blonde: So what is this drink anyway?
Creepy guy: A roofie-coolada. (sinister snicker)
Blonde: Oh. Okay! (laughs)
–Virgil's, W 44th St
Girl on cell drinking frozen lemonade: No, mom. The frozen lemonade is not going to be my dinner. I'm going to go home and make myself something healthy. Love you! (hangs up)
Friend: Is that gonna be your dinner?
Girl: No! I'm gonna go home and make…
Friend: I love how honest you are with your parents.
Girl, interrupting: Some motherfuckin' nachos.
–86th & 5th
Little boy: The Russians eat brains?
Mom, looking at cookbook: This is a French cookbook.
Little boy: The french eat brains?!
Mom: Not human brains. Animals'.
Little boy: That's disgusting!
Mom: Yes, it's very high in cholesterol.
–Barnes & Noble, 86th & Lexington
Girl #1: No, you cannot have my Sunny D.
Girl #2: Just dropkick me in the fucking heart.
–University Dorm
Horny boy #1: Dude, when a girl asks for an ass massage she's totally asking for sex!
Horny boy #2: I know, man! I'd be pissed, too.
–Bleecker St
British girl #1, standing and holding out hand for friend: Sorry, this city makes my hands dirty.
British girl #2: This city makes my whole body dirty.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Brian
Guy wearing a promotional cardboard to another: I think I'm going to treat myself to health insurance next month.
–Broadway & 43rd St
Overheard by: Maria
Woman on phone: My urologist wanted to stick a microscope up my urethra! (pause) No! (pause) Because it's going to hurt!
–Vandam St & 6th Ave
20-something woman on cell: Yeah, the doctor told me not to exfoliate my labia.
–R Train
Overheard by: Note to self….
Bartender: I gotta get sexy for my doctor tomorrow. I'm gonna be like, "doctor, I need you to examine me. I need you to remove my garments." Nah… I'm just playin'. My doctor's cute, though. For real. I'm just gonna show some cleavage or somethin'.
–Jamaica, Queens
Woman on phone: She wants to be a doctor. She likes it when the guts fall out. (pause) No, she wouldn't do that. She's too lazy to be a serial killer.
–Fox Newsroom, 6th & 48th
Overheard by: Newsbunny
Old woman pushing cart, loudly to old man: I'm going to get you mouthwash for your teeth.
Old man: But I don't have teeth.
Old woman, now yelling: I know that! But this way when you get teeth, you'll know you have mouthwash.
–Columbus Ave & 103rd St
Overheard by: Xsusha
Employee: They tryin' to tell me I'm bipolar. I ain't bipolar; I just a overprotective parent.
–Chock Full o' Nuts, W 86th St
Overheard by: Emily B.
Calm woman: The thing about being a therapist is that, well, you're just a band-aid.
–W 3rd St
Dude, introducing himself: So, uh, my therapist thinks I'm ready to start dating again.
–F Train
Overheard by: Jenny
Eight-year-old with older man to cashier: He's not my father, he's my therapist.
–Deli, Upper West Side
Girl #1: Hi!
Girl #2: I'm sorry I couldn't make your party. I was at Jiddy's birthday in Bryant Park.
Girl #1: It's okay.
Girl #2: How are you?
Girl #1: I've had a hell of a week. My dog's in the hospital.
Girl #2: Which one?
Girl #1: The one that's alive.
–L Train
