Wannabe hipster #1: Oh my god, I feel, like, soooo sexy. And he thinks so too. I haven't showered in like, two days.
Wannabe hipster #2: Oh my god, like, that's sooooo sexy.
Wannabe hipster #1: I am sooooo sexy…
–57th & 10th
Wannabe hipster #1: Oh my god, I feel, like, soooo sexy. And he thinks so too. I haven't showered in like, two days.
Wannabe hipster #2: Oh my god, like, that's sooooo sexy.
Wannabe hipster #1: I am sooooo sexy…
–57th & 10th
Hipster #1: I know that I should know this, but when did Castro die or get overthrown?
Hipster #2: Uh, he’s still in power.
Hipster #1: Oh, that explains why it’s still illegal for us to travel to Cuba.
Hipster #2: Yeah.
—Motorcycle Diaries showing, Brooklyn Art Museum
Girl looking at unisex bathroom sign: The bathrooms are bisexual!
–The Brooklyn Lyceum
Overheard by: Jordana
Hipster dude on cell: He broke up with me for a girl!
–St. Marks & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Amy
Woman on cell: Yes, baby, yes, I’m bisexual! I need a man right now. You ready or what?
–6th Ave & 14th St
Overheard by: TK
Guy on cell: Damn, baby, it’s been months since we’ve had sex! Is it another guy? …Is it another girl?!
–Prince St
Overheard by: Suzy
Fourth-grade kid: See, what you people don’t understand is, my fists are bisexual — they hit both boys and girls.
–PS 34
Overheard by: Emily
Hipster chick: What happened here?
Cop: Everything’s alright… Spider-Man saved the day.
–Union Square subway station
Festering pedestrian: Well, he didn't mention my name at the Tonys, and for that I'll never forgive him.
–43rd St & 10th Ave
Overheard by: Ryan
Producer of an unsuccessful off-Broadway play: That's what this show makes me do. Everyday I get here and just squeeze my neck just like this, I just squeeze it. I don't do this anywhere else.
–Chelsea Theater
Overheard by: Kyle
Audience member to friend: Of course it sucks. It's Shakespeare.
—Macbeth Performance, Battery Park
Hipster guy: I think this play is by the same guy who wrote Ten Things I Hate about You
–NYCL Production of Shakespeare's Cymbeline, Central Park
Overheard by: digamma
Hipster girl: Last time I was in the third row, but I think I like these better. At least I won't get my head humped tonight.
—Hair Performance, Delacorte Theatre
Teenybopper at intermission: Joe Jonas would make such an incredible bodega guy!
–Richard Rodgers Theatre
Punk chick: Yeah, so my boss totally has this $20,000 rock in his yard.
Hipster chick: No way, like a diamond?
Punk chick: No, like a fucking rock.
–6 train
Hipster Pee-wee Herman lookalike to friend: Oh, and when I give her anilingus to let me direct a show? You're totally gonna be in it!
–Q Train
Overheard by: Flea
Man: I believe some of this will be made up.
–Going into Wicked, Broadway
Overheard by: CAM
Black highschool girl: Oh my god, why do they keep singing?
—In the Heights, Broadway Musical
Overheard by: Cookie
Woman in Jersey accent: Is this the one about the boy who wants to be a horse or the girl who wants to be a fish?
–At Equus, Broadhurst Theatre
Overheard by: HarlemRy
Daniel Radcliffe fan girl: I have to be in this show some day. Even if I'm eighty, I gotta be in this show with him. I'd be like, "put it in me! Put it in me!"
–At Equus, Broadhurst Theatre
Overheard by: Nikki
Man leaving Hair: Well, that beats the hell outta Shakespeare!
–Outside Delacorte Theater, Central Park
Twitchy dude to no one in particular: What? You selling something? What you selling? You all are devils! Devil worshipers! Bunch of devil worshipers! Devils, devils, devils! See you in hell! Oh…I won't be there, though.
–C Train
Hipster girl on cell: No, the black marks are from me cheating on you with Satan. (pause) Yeah, now I'm pregnant and he won't marry me.
–23rd & 5th
Overheard by: Louisa
Young guy on cell, about video game: I gave them my soul. I gave them my soul! See, my soul legally belongs to you, so you tricked them. (pause) Give him his soul! Give him his soul! What? What? Too late!
–93rd St, Bay Ridge
Screaming man with ashes on forehead to man walking past on Ash Wednesday: You're going to hell you motherfucker!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: BK
Woman on cell: Satan don't wear no panties, negro. That shit flies free.
–Astoria, Queens
Overheard by: Celia
White trash girl, looking out of bus window: Look at Ed*. He looks like a fucking lumberjack. He needs a shave.
White trash guy: That Ed* -he’s a fucking crackhead.
White trash girl: I thought he smoked pot?
White trash guy: Crack, pot -what’s the difference?
Hipster guy sitting behind them: Excuse me, I’m Ed*’s best friend. He’s definitely a pothead. He never does crack. But he does look like a lumberjack.
–Q54 Bus
Hipster girl #1: I don't know why you keep talking to him.
Hipster girl #2: Imagine a virtual plus sign over his crotch.
–1st Ave, East Village
