Wednesday One-Liners Think ‘Un’ Is Also a Kind of Faithful

Ghetto guy: She know she got a man, but she’ll still gimme some. She know that!

–7 train

Young woman, screaming at young man: I dare you to fuck someone else again! I dare you!… You better not fuck anyone else! You better not!

–Hoyt-Schermerhorn station, Brooklyn

Queer on cell: Since when has your gaping hole decided to be faithful to your boyfriend?

–Union Square

Overheard by: Keith

Walking VD: When I first met you seven months ago I was kinda in another relationship. But now that that’s over, wanna get back in bed?

–32nd & 7th

Cop: So I’m fucking his wife for 6 years, and now he complains!

–238th & Broadway

Overheard by: Miriam

Posted on August 23, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, Asshole, Brooklyn, Cops, Dating, Hook Ups, Infidelity, Manhattan, Marriage, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, Penn Station, People, Pick-up Lines, Places, Private Parts, Queers, Sex, Sex & Relationships, The Bronx, Topics, Union Square and East Village, Women

Simplex-Minded Decision Making

Girl: …and when he came back, it looked like he had herpes! Herpes everywhere!
Queer: And you still hit that?
Girl: Well, it looked like he did, but it was dark and I wasn’t sure.

–Spring & W Broadway

Posted on August 21, 2006
Hook Ups, Intelligentsia, Queer guys, STDs, Stupidity, West Village

Unless You Brought Enough Pussy For Everyone, You’re Going to Have to Spit That Out

RA: No sex in the dorms after curfew!
Girl #1: But what about lesbian sex?
RA: Well, that’s okay, but not in the common room. Unless everyone’s involved. Then it’s okay.
Girl #2: And clean up after yourselves!

–Columbia University

Posted on August 12, 2006
College, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Girl-on-Girl, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hook Ups, Lesbians, Manhattan, People, Places, Queers, Sex & Relationships, Students

Wednesday One-Liners Do It Standing Up to Be Safe

Guy on cell: My doctor told me if you piss right after sex, you can’t get STDs…Yeah, I do it all the time.

–Suffolk & Rivington

Overheard by: John

Loud teen girl: Wait, you had a dream that you had AIDS? That I had AIDS? Fuck you, man.

–Brighton Beach, Brooklyn

Chick on cell: I know it’s sick, but I’m so excited that I can have unsafe sex now!

–23rd Street & Broadway

Overheard by: Becka Dash

Concerned citizen: Excuse me, I don’t know if this is a trans-generational or New York metropolitan faux pas, but you should really tell your friend, girlfriend, lady friend or whatever that one in every four persons in America has herpes.

–sushi restaurant, 1st Ave

Overheard by: Caitlyn

Posted on July 12, 2006
Advice, AIDS, Guys, Hook Ups, Nice People, Pee, Promiscuity, STDs, Teens, Wednesday One-Liners

Damnit, the GHB Should Be Working By Now!

Girl: Oh, and in French, they say-
Guy: -I don’t care.
Girl: This date has been awful.
Guy: Shut up!

–78th & Broadway

Posted on July 6, 2006
Assholes, Girls, Guys, Hook Ups, Idiots, Insults, Languages, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

He’s Hung Like a Pigeon

Guy: Yeah, that’s the first thing I learned when I moved here: don’t eat street meat, it’s probably pigeon or something.
Girl #1: Yeah, I wish I could get my husband to stop eating it.
Girl #2: I don’t care what kind of meat it is as long as it’s in my mouth.
Girl #1: That’s my sister; she’s looking for a hook-up.
Girl #2: No, I’m not!
Guy: I’m married.

–Irving Plaza, Irving Place

Overheard by: Johnny Tremain

Posted on January 27, 2006
Animals & Nature, Bars & Clubs, Family Ties, Food, Girls, Guys, Hook Ups, Innuendo, Junk Food & Fast Food, Manhattan, Marriage, People, Places, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Sisters, Street, Topics, Union Square and East Village, Venues

“Take my word as truth; telepathy is real!”

Queer #1: Anyway, Rico spent Friday night with that tattooed guy and they were hanging out again last night…Though, when Rico said hello to me, there was a look in his eyes that said, “I’m with this guy for the weekend, sorry, I’d much rather get to know you, but I’ve sorta made my bed now and must lie in it…please wait for me…”
Queer #2: Is this the point where you ask me whether you read too much into things?

–The Roxy, West 18th Street