Nurse: Do you live alone or do you live by yourself?
Patient: I live alone.
–NYU Hospital
Overheard by: Luis
Girl to friend: Get all your cheating in before you are married!
–Viacom Building, 44th & Broadway
Angry dude on cell: Well I bet you enjoyed fucking him last night while I was sitting outside your house watching!
–Hudson & Morton
Guy on cell: Hey sweetie… Oh, you’re so out of breath! Did you just finish having sex? [Pause.] Oh, okay, great. Just give me a call later!
–85th & 2nd
[Boy and girl are making out on a bench.]Girl, pulling away: You should really break up with her! [Make out session continues.]
–Entrance to Central Park at West 85th St
Overheard by: Bex
Man to woman, after kissing her for 20 minutes: C’mon, let’s go find your husband and my wife.
–Bryant Park
Man talking to friend in hallway: And so he says to me: "I never promised that I wouldn’t try to sleep with your wife."
–Basement, Mt Sinai Hospital
Overheard by: scrubs
Checkout girl to another: He said it wasn’t cheating because I’m his favorite.
–Food Emporium, 68th & Broadway
Overheard by: David
Secretary: What are you doing for Thanksgiving?
Nurse: My husband and I are going to North Carolina to visit his family. Why? What are you doing? Do you want to come with us?
Secretary: No. I can't. I don't have a passport.
Nurse: Uh.
–NYU Cancer Center
Overheard by: Destiny Traphofner
Knitting girl: Don't let your drunk girlfriend name your cat, because eventually you will break up with her and then you'll have a cat with a stupid name.
–The Point Knitting Cafe
Overheard by: Heather
Woman coming out of restroom, holding a bottle of liquid soap: You gotta keep the cat clean!
–NYU Hospital
Overheard by: A nurse who wish she wasn't sometimes!!
Female tourist, to herself: There are nine ways to skin a cat, and I know all of them.
–23rd & 8th
Man to woman, arguing: Fuck you, Nina, that's the point. You're not taking my cat!
–Central Park
Old man to friend, during lunch: I don't like cats' attitudes. Unlike dogs, they can be so aloof. Especially to Jews…
–Deli, 1st Ave
Overheard by: Allison
Pretty orthodox Jewish girl #1: Man, if I wasn't religious, I would be such a slut.
Pretty orthodox Jewish girl #2: I hear ya.
–Kings County Hospital
Overheard by: awesome sauce
Med student guy #1: Wait up, you’re saying that nearsighted means you can’t see far? But it should, like, mean that you can’t see near.
Med student guy #2: Yeah, I know, it’s like backwards or something.
–Columbia-Presbyterian Medical Center, West 168th Street
Woman, 70s: …she’s had a heart attack, her legs don’t work, and on top of all that, she’s crazy!
–St. Vincent’s Hospital elevator
Overheard by: Jay Parkinson
Junkie #1: He’s a millionaire…just gives his money away. He’s a Jew bastard. But he writes his check like a chicken scratch.
Junkie #2: Oh, they can’t write anyway.
–Meth clinic, 161st Street
Five-year-old black girl: Let's play I spy!
Six-year-old black girl: I spy… Something brown!
Five-year-old black girl: The chair!
Six-year-old black girl: No.
Five-year-old black girl: The door!
Six-year-old black girl: No.
Five-year-old black girl: Us!
Six-year-old black girl: No… We're black, stupid!
–Waiting Room, Eye & Ear Hospital
Intake worker: Mother's first name?
Patient: Cynthia.
Intake worker: And your father's?
Patient: Yeah, I don't know that, dude.
–ER, St. Luke's
