Preteen boy #1, looking at tiny Yorkie: Wow, that is the smallest thing I've ever seen.
Preteen boy #2: That's what she said.
Preteen boy #1: Yeah, that's what she didn't say about you! I mean, that's what she didn't say to me! That's what she said about you!
–30th Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: real smooth.
Unattended older child, playing with Star Wars toy: Pew, pew, pew! I shot you, you bastard!
Younger brother: Hey, don't talk like that to Star Wars!
–McDonald's, Astoria
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Comedy club guy: Come see a comedy show, it's way better than next to normal!
Teenage girl: Bitch, please.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Ali
Younger sister: Carrie! Carrie! Carrie! I saw Justin Bieber over there!
Older sister: Justin Bieber sucks.
Younger sister: Yeah, Justin Bieber sucks…
–Park Slope
High school girl #1: That Lady Macbeth is such a raving bitch!
High school girl #2: I know, and he's, like, totally whipped!
–Uptown 1 Train
Woman, as train stops: Mmm-mm… Excuse you!
Younger man: Huh?
Woman: You cut in front of me.
Younger man: How did I cut in front of you? You get up, and the people closer to the door go first. Like on a plane.
Woman: You cut in front of me, and a gentleman never cuts in front of a lady.
Younger man: Right. And a lady doesn't go “mmm-mm… Excuse you!”
–Grand Central Platform
Teen #1: I was just talking to a girl in the bathroom… She was wearing a horrible shirt.
Teen #2: What did you say to her?
Teen #1: I said her shirt was nice.
–W 32nd St
Overheard by: NG
Guido in car with Jersey plates: Don't touch my penis!
Gay man on the street: We don't want your penis, bitch!
–8th Ave & 22nd St
Overheard by: Adam and AnnMarie
Pretty teen girl #1: Did you know there's a guy in our school who looks exactly like Taylor Lautner?
Pretty teen girl #2: Seriously?
Pretty teen girl #1: Yeah. His name is Alison.
Pretty teen girl #2: Ew. That's such an ugly name!
Pretty teen girl #1: I know. He like, stares… If you turn around and look at him, he's looking at you. All the girls think he's staring at them. You know how all the girls in that group are pretty?
Pretty teen girl #2: I know! It's crazy!
–Starbucks, Chelsea
Overheard by: Katherine Wallace
Queen #1: What the fuck, girl, did you not look in the mirror before walkin' out da house? Those shoes do not match that shirt!
Queen #2, with sass: You obviously did look in the mirror, because that shirt (points at dark yellow shirt) matches your teeth perfectly.
–F Train
