Wednesday One-Liners Break the Curve

Asian girl to friend: You know her! She’s the Asian girl — you know, the one with the eyes!

–Empire State Building

Overheard by: Chuckles

Little boy about Japanese man: Mom, how come that man is closing his eyes all the time?!

–Liberty St

Overheard by: galgal

Emo Asian boy: You can recover from drug or alcohol addictions, but there is no cure for Asianism.

–Weinstein Dining Hall, NYU

Drunk Asian man: Did you see that mosaic? It’s all wrong. The Asians were all one shade of yellow. What kind of art work is that? Look at me and my people — we’re multiple shades!

–R train

20-something woman: Being an Asian and being a tranny aren’t the same thing.

–Dallas BBQ, Chelsea

Overheard by: Ladle

Posted on November 5, 2014
Asians, Body Parts, Boys, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Drugs, Drunks, Empire State Building, Friends, Girls, Kids, Murray Hill and Gramercy, NYU, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Questions, Race, Restaurants & Cafes, Street, The Village, Trannies, Women

I Don’t Like Where This Is Going

Drunk kid: Have you ever seen Asian female nipples?
Asian kid: What?
Drunk kid: I mean, not your own.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Evil

Posted on November 4, 2014
Asians, Columbia University, Drunks, Kids, Nipples, Questions

Wednesday One-Liners Ask: Why Limit Yourself?

Girl looking at unisex bathroom sign: The bathrooms are bisexual!

–The Brooklyn Lyceum

Overheard by: Jordana

Hipster dude on cell: He broke up with me for a girl!

–St. Marks & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Amy

Woman on cell: Yes, baby, yes, I’m bisexual! I need a man right now. You ready or what?

–6th Ave & 14th St

Overheard by: TK

Guy on cell: Damn, baby, it’s been months since we’ve had sex! Is it another guy? …Is it another girl?!

–Prince St

Overheard by: Suzy

Fourth-grade kid: See, what you people don’t understand is, my fists are bisexual — they hit both boys and girls.

–PS 34

Overheard by: Emily

Posted on November 4, 2014
Breaking Up, Gays and Lesbians, Hipsters, Kids, On Cell

Wednesday Will One-Liner Anything That Moves

50-something actress: I'm one of the founding sluts.

–Chelsea Studios

Overheard by: Joshy Sweetpants

Guy on cell: That's what I said: I fucked him, but I'm not attracted to him.

–81st & Columbus

Overheard by: Flooey

Adorable seven-year-old kid on bike: She liked it. Ashley liked it. Ashley's a whore.

–Havemeyer & 2nd, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Nathalie & Noah

Girl on cell: Well, I'm in a different place now. Now I'm a slut.

–W 4th & 6th Ave

Teenage girl on cell, beaming, as if she just had a revelation: Oh, I forgot you're a whore! (yelling triumphantly) You're a whore!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Emilia

Posted on November 3, 2014
Actors, All Wednesday One-Liners, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Girls, Guys, Insults, Kids, On Cell, One-liners, Penn Station, Promiscuity, Sex, Street, Teens, The Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Williamsburg

No More Montessori School for You, Young Man.

Gangster to son: Yo, nigga, you better not do crack when you grow up.
Gangster son: When I be big, I'ma be a dancer!

–Broadway & Laffayette

Overheard by: alexjeff

Posted on November 2, 2014
Age/Aging, Dancing, Drugs, Gangstas, Kids, The Village

You’re Both Right! And Both Nerds

Nerd kid #1: Look! I’m demonstrating gravity!
Nerd kid #2: No, you’re not. That’s pseudo-force!

–3 train

Posted on November 1, 2014
Comebacks, Dorks, Geeks and Nerds, Kids, On the Subway, Science

Hey, I Support Late-term Abortions Up Until 216 Months

Girl selling Obama condoms: Buy Obama condoms, they are cheaper than a baby and easier to push than a stroller.
Mom pushing stroller: You're two years too late.

–44th & 7th

Overheard by: innocent bystander

Posted on October 31, 2014
Compare/Contrast, Condoms, For Sale, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, President, Time, Vendors & Street Performers

He’s Still at HIV

Girl, 9: Is that your ADD talking?
Boy, 9: What? I don’t have that disease!
Girl, 9: A-D-D doesn’t spell AIDS!

–1/9 train

Overheard by: Nicole A.

Posted on October 31, 2014
AIDS, Health and Hygiene, Illness, Kids, On the Subway, People, Places, Topics

That One’s Boring — Tell the Donkey-Punch Story Again!

Small child, trying a Sprite: I don’t like it.
Dad: If you don’t like the taste, just spit it out.
Mom: I’ve heard that one before.

–33rd & 7th

Overheard by: Brian Flanagan

Posted on October 31, 2014
BJs, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Cum, Dads, Drinks, Innuendo, Kids, Moms

How Much Is That Wednesday One-Liner in the Window?

50-something Long Island woman, showing pictures of her dog while talking non-stop about it: And this is Cici wearing a hat, she usually wears a hat when she goes out. And this is Cici, very drunk…

–LIRR

Overheard by: Adam Nathan

Guy on cell walking a tiny poodle: Dude! The dog did it again. (pause) No, I swear, dude. The. Dog. Did. It. Again. (pause) Dude! This dog talks. Talks.

–Broadway & 43rd St, Astoria

(little girl finishes petting a stranger's dog)
Girl's mother: Now say "thank you" to its human.

–Central Park Lawn

Hyper tween schoolgirl: Hey mom, remember when we brought the dog to the mall and he peed in a coconut?

–La Pallette, 12th St

Guy to friend: I love her more than anything, but something about the way her puppy's paws smell really seal it.

–Rosa's Pizza, Penn Station

Overheard by: Craig

Posted on October 31, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Astoria, Central Park, Clothing, Drinking & Drunk People, Family Ties, Friends, Guys, Kids, Love, Man's Best Friend, Moms, On Cell, One-liners, Pee, Penn Station, Pictures, Restaurants & Cafes, Sensory Experiences, Trains Not Subway, Trees and plants, Tweens, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, West Village, Women

Kids