Mom: Stop scratching yourself down there. Don’t do that in public.
Toddler: I can’t help it if my labia itches!
–Uptown A train
Mom: Stop scratching yourself down there. Don’t do that in public.
Toddler: I can’t help it if my labia itches!
–Uptown A train
Girl: Do you think I should have a party?
Mother: No, no one would come.
Girl: Why not?
Mother: Because you smell.
–Jamba Juice, Times Square
Kid, as blind woman passes by: You know why you should never jump a blind person?
Friend: Why?
Kid: One, they could fight back like Daredevil. Two, it’s just cruel. And three, you can’t hit ’em in the face ’cause they’re used to it. All fallin’ down the stairs all the time…
–6th Ave & Spring St
Overheard by: connor
Ghetto kid #1: Yo, Cam’ron be doin’ some gay shit!
Ghetto kid #2: Nah, but he always calls ‘no homo’ so it’s aight.
Ghetto kid #1: So if Cam’ron asked you to suck his dick ‘no homo,’ would you?
Ghetto kid #2: Well, if he called ‘no homo…’
–B9 bus, Ave M
Giggling little girl placing hand in butt-crack of a statue: Daddy, look!
Father: Spank it!
–Times Warner Building, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Adam Distler
Girl #1: I never want to have kids.
Girl #2: Me neither, but I’d totally get pregnant with a celebrity’s kid. Then I’d be rich for the rest of my life.
–A train to Far Rockaway
Overheard by: M
Father: What is your favorite color?
Son, sitting in cart: Um…Pink!
Father: No! It’s black or maybe blue.
–Paint aisle, Home Depot, Staten Island
Little girl #1: I know what GAP stands for!
Little girls #2, #3 and #4: What?
Little girl #1: ‘Gay and proud,’ duh.
–In front of the GAP , Times Square
Overheard by: Micaela
Second grader: Earth is the greatest planet in the whole world!
–125th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Yes, I’m his teacher.
Little boy to younger brother in elevator: Stop! It’s like the hospital, you can’t touch anything!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: student
Little girl: Big Brother is watching!
–Franklin St & Church St
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Little boy: Yo, digit, you don’t get any pussy, how you gonna say she ugly?
–Corsa Ave, the Bronx
Overheard by: Edward Carney
Little girl to other little girl wearing school uniform: You look like a woman. Go change!
–116th St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Ken Yapelli
Little girl: Excuse me, where is the drugstore? I mean, where are the drugs?
–Duane Reade, 7th Ave & Flatbush
Overheard by: Cupcake
Little boy: I can’t wait to get home so I can scratch my crotch!
–6th Ave & 17th St
Little boy: Where are we going?
Mom: Don’t you know where we’re going? Don’t you?
Little boy: Yeah! I’m just testing you! I’m just testing you!
–M23 bus
Overheard by: Helen V.
