High school boy: Superheroes are cool, right?
High school girls: (laughs)
–Governors Island
Overheard by: Brigdh
High school boy: Superheroes are cool, right?
High school girls: (laughs)
–Governors Island
Overheard by: Brigdh
(six-year-old boy tries to cross street against traffic)
Father, grabbing boy's hand: Whoa, little man! That's dangerous!
Six-year-old boy: Daddy, I eat danger for breakfast.
–Ocean & Newkirk, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Well I eat razors and nails.
Indian snack counter vendor: What's that on your head, man?
Security guard with ash cross on head, in thick New York accent: It's ash Wednesday.
Indian snack counter vendor, snickering: Okay.
Security guard: Hey, I don't laugh at you guys when you put dots on your heads. You gotta respect other people's beliefs.
–9th St & Broadway
Overheard by: The Chocolate Muffin Sucked
Guy #1: Dude! You're such a girl! (laughs)
Guy #2: You know, the only reason that insults like that even work is because they're ironic. So shut the fuck up.
–F Train
Artsy girlfriend: Ooh, I smell art!
Artsy boyfriend: I see boobs.
(they giggle and kiss gleefully)
–Natural History Museum
Girl: Aaron! Hi!
Guy: Hey! Are you going to the thing?
Girl: Yeah, the thing!
(guy starts walking away)
Girl: Wait, Aaron! Hold up!
Guy: What?
Girl: Did you see that puppy?
Guy: Yeah, I pointed at it and laughed at it a few times.
–Cooper Square
Slavic guy to metro friend getting manicure: Hey, pay for mine too.
Metro friend: You want to get one?
Slavic guy, laughing and walking out: No!
–Fashion Nails, 13th & Ave A
Overheard by: erkala
Drunk hipster: Since when did the vagina become the font of all morality?
–110th & Amsterdam
Girl running in pajamas: Oh my god my vagina is so cold!
–50th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Matt
Girl proclaiming: I saw the vagina.
–NYU
Acting student: You have a vagina and he’s all into that. I have a penis and he’s not all into that. That’s why you have to do this for me.
–Archbold Theater
Overheard by: nice
Crazy black woman: I know my pussy! You don’t know my pussy! Haha! You can’t say you know my pussy, I know my pussy! Haha, hah! If you can’t find my pussy, you can’t say you’re not too big!
–114th & Broadway
Overheard by: Xiao Hoah Dze
Nondescript guy on cell phone: So, were the vaginas ok?
–55th St & 8th
Bum: Hey you got some money so I can get an iced cappuccino?
Concerned white man: Sorry man, I don’t have any more.
Bum: I’m too lazy to work, HAHAHAHAH. [crazy cackle]
–71st & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Donny
Grey-haired white guy #1: That presentation had way too many numbers.
Grey-haired white guy #2: He loves numbers.
Grey-haired white woman: Numbers are good, but that was too many numbers.
Grey-haired white guy #1: I don't like numbers. Yo no quiero muchos numeros.
Grey-haired white guy #2: Si! Yo entiendo.
(they crack up)
Grey-haired white woman: Wait… What does that mean?
Grey-haired white guy #1: It means “I don't like numbers.” (they laugh again)
Grey-haired white guy #1: I heard Hispanic-speaking people don't actually say “me gusta.” Anyone know if that's true?
Grey-haired white guy #2: Hmm, I thought it was just Colombians.
Grey-haired white woman: I used to know a Puerto Rican woman.
–Financial District
Overheard by: Office Temp
